RefinementProject

2012-01-20T08:54:00.002-05:00

Well, it has been more than a month. I don't know if anyone still reads this, but I thought I'd write a new post just in case. The beginning of 2012 hasn't been wonderful, to be honest. A friend of mine-one of the first people to befriend me when I started going to LBC in 2002-finished her battle with cancer on the 10th of this month. She was only 23 years old. I am confident of this: that right now she is in the presence of the One who made her, who saved her, who, indeed, healed her of her suffering. She is living, now, in a world where things are as they were meant to be, and I am looking forward to meeting with her there. Her presence is deeply missed here, though. Please pray for her dear family.

Other than this sad news-what's new? ... I can never think of an answer to this question when I'm asked... I'm learning to play the mandolin, that's new. I've been trying to eat mostly raw food, because that's what my body's been craving. I'm still reading through the Bible chronologically. God is still faithful :-)

Something I've been thinking about lately is how wrapped up we are in "the next step" of our lives. Many of us seem to think there is, or should be, something above and beyond what we are currently doing. People have inquired of me "So, you've been done with college for a few years now, what's next?" And that question sort of haunted me, because I also felt that there should be something next, a new job, getting my masters, going on a long term mission trip...I've even experienced disappointment (myself, and in the faces of others) that this next big thing hasn't happened yet. We become dissatisfied with the "status quo," and at least I, make the assumption that this discontent is because there is something new and better on the horizon, or because some change needs to be made (change of location, change in company, change in career). We always seem to be more interested in what's next.

And that sort of change is awesome, in God's time, for His glory. I may write more on this later-but just a few questions to consider: What if we're wrong in this vein of thinking? What if the things that have become monotonous and boring are like manna, and what if we are the Hebrews begging for meat?

Rise Up.

2011-12-14T08:41:00.002-05:00

This is turning out to be sort of a lousy day. Or maybe it's me that's being lousy today. Sometimes it's hard to tell. I woke up this morning very reluctantly. It was cold enough to make me want to hibernate under the covers for another month or so, but not cold enough to snow, so raindrops tapped on the window to say "Yes, that's right, stay in bed. Nothing to see out here." Nevertheless, my conscience served as a prod for me to get ready for work. There were people waiting to go home after a long night of talking women through crises; I had to get there.

So, I did what I usually do when I can't seem to get motivated: turned on some music. Ben Shive's "Rise Up" was the first song to come on-a total God send. Even if this day is totally crappy, even if this day I am totally crappy, I am reminded that one day all that crappy stuff will be done away with. The lyrics are below, and you can get a copy of this song (and a few other cool songs) free (or for a donation in the amount of your choosing) on Ben Shive's Noisetrade Sampler, or buy it on iTunes. Ben Shive is a brilliant song-writer. These are great lyrics, but the music is really great, too, so you should give it a listen :-)

RISE UP

Every stone that makes you stumble

And cuts you when you fall,

Every serpent here that strikes your heel

To curse you when you crawl,

The King of Love one day will crush them all.

And every sad seduction

And every clever lie,

Every word that woos and wounds

The pilgrim children of the sky,

The King of Love will break them by and by.

And you will rise up in the end.

You will rise up in the end.

I know the night is cruel,

But the day is coming soon,

And you will rise up in the end.

If a thief had come to plunder

When the children were alone,

If he ravaged every daughter

And murdered every son,

Would not their father see this?

Would not his anger burn?

And would he not repay the tyrant

In the day of his return?

Await, await the day of his return.

‘Cause he will rise up in the end.

He will rise up in the end.

I know you need a savior,

And he is patient in his anger,

But he will rise up in the end.

And when the stars come crash into the sea

When the high and mighty fall down on their knees

When you see the sun descending in the sky

The chains of death will fall around your feet

But you will rise up in the end.

Continuation-the end.

2011-12-11T16:12:00.001-05:00

Continued from this post.

Part of my spirit longed for someone to share this beautiful experience with, but the rest wished to hide it as a secret gift from the Creator Himself. In that moment, as I pondered the great kindness of the Author of the vast universe around me, someone rather ungracefully stumbled out of the auditorium and, consequently, into my quiet hideaway. “Is this a visitor or an intruder?” I wondered as I looked over my shoulder for an answer to this all-important question. Breathless and red-faced, the blond haired girl flung herself upon the chair across from mine exclaiming “Boy, it’s hot in there!” I cringed, if not externally, in my heart (to my shame) when I realized who it was. Visitors and intruders are two veritably different types of guests.

This particular guest, Stacy*, had been coming to our church for a few years with her friend, who has been part of LBC practically since birth. If Stacy’s loud, unrefined behavior was any indication of her home life, she had quite literally been starved for attention from her family. Coming to LBC, having friendships that centered around Jesus, may very well have saved her from crumbling under the pressure of any trouble at home. If I had known less of her background, I would have been quite annoyed at her noisy intrusion into my peaceful reception of this secret gift. However, I willingly (joyfully, even) accepted her presence on the deck as an opportunity to love her like Jesus does, even if it was just to listen to her. We engaged in some brief chatter about all of the places she has traveled in her twelve or thirteen years, about the constellations above us, about what we enjoyed that weekend and what we wished were different (namely, that the retreat were longer). She, too, felt sorry about having to go home the next day and I felt sorry that she might feel lonely when she was separated from so many friends again. Stacy is the sort of person who is determined to part of all the “fun,” so as quickly as she had entered my hide-away, she scampered down the stairs towards the newly ignited bonfire. I watched the smoke billow up towards the sky, my sky, and said a prayer for my young friend.

Shortly after my eyes had been re-acquainted with the twinkling of the stars, I saw it. A flash of light that seemed to jet away as quickly as it appeared, while its stream of light lingered. A shooting star, as they call it! I gasped, and then smiled as I considered that this one beautiful display of the works of His hand might have been meant for my eyes only; a silent movie in which the unwritten subtitles were “I care for you. You have not been forgotten, dear. By the way, look what I can do...” I have since learned that shooting stars are not stars at all; they are visible paths of debris particles entering the earth’s atmosphere to become a meteor. Perhaps there is great beauty in seeming intrusions that can only be seen from one side of the heavens. Perhaps Stacy’s visit on the deck that November night appeared as a shooting star before our Maker; a treasure of immense beauty.

*name has been changed

Continuation (1)

2011-12-10T15:57:00.000-05:00

Continued from this post

Just a few weeks ago, I was sitting on the deck of the lodge at Camp A, where our church hosts the annual youth retreat. The deck is rustic and wide. About ten wooden rocking chairs, painted a pale green that is reminiscent of clover in the spring, stationed at various intervals furnish said deck. The panoramic view from a rocking chair in the center of this deck displays rolling, forested hills, and directly overlooks a green, glittering lake which is nestled between two or three of the high hills. There is another small deck between the lodge and lake, but from where I sat, the two chairs below appeared quite small- as if they had been handcrafted for a child’s dollhouse. The entire scene was quite lovely and peaceful.

After the youth band finished the concertina they were playing in the auditorium (which happens to be the room that opens to the beauty previously described), the hushed sounds of dozens of conversations around the camp brought a smile to my face as my gaze turned towards the heavens. Endless constellations, along with our moon, other planets, and other galaxies no doubt, lit the night sky. For the first time ever, I saw the stars actually twinkle like the bulbs on a Christmas tree, or as fireflies which illuminate the fields at dusk in summertime. It was breath-taking. It felt as if I were hiding away on this deck in the hills under an infinite blanket of celestial bodies...as if I were the miniature doll in the dollhouse I had imagined just minutes earlier.

To Be Continued.

Hello? Is this thing on?

2011-12-09T15:29:00.002-05:00

Well, hello there. It's been a long time (well, for me, more than a month IS a long time) since I posted anything, so I thought it would be nice to check in :-) Day to day life has been pretty much the same-no big adventures lately-but in the past month, my heart has been pretty heavy for some friends/family who are enduring trials, and between that and the normal stresses of life, I just haven't felt like writing anything to share publicly.

I've been sort of privately participating in WEverb11, and up until prompt 8, my responses had been pretty short and sweet. When I was writing yesterday, I finally felt some inspiration, and just went with it. Having nothing else of interest to share with you today, I thought I would begin sharing what I wrote. It's sort of long, so I'll break it up over a few days.

What was the biggest choice you made in 2011? What caused you to choose what you chose?

Since my recollection of recent events is fresh, it may not actually be the case that what I believe to be my biggest decision of 2011 is actually my biggest decision of 2011. However, I think the decision producing the most change in my heart, and consequently in my lifestyle, would be the decision to see the bigger picture. Instead of introspection and self-interest, I now choose to observe the world around me, to understand the greatness of God and the reality of this world. This has many implications. Firstly, with regard to my thinking: I am less obsessed with myself and my own feelings (though, admittedly, I am still self-absorbed and will likely struggle with that as long as I live in this fallen world). It is hard to be interested in oneself when there is such a grand universe to be seen and explored; when there is an eternal God whose glory is displayed in the heavens and the earth. Secondly, I find myself more inclined to think of others...to sympathize with their struggles and heartaches. I have shed more tears for my friends in recent months than I think I have since I first believed, and those tears have been more heartfelt than any I have shed on my own behalf to mourn my own *perceived* suffering. Thirdly, I have experienced less anxiety about temporal things such as money, whether I will ever be married, what people think about me, etc. My thoughts have been more centered around eternity future, and the joys to be had there, than the things I lack this side of the grave. Finally, my eyes have been opened to so much beauty in creation.

To Be Continued...

Siblings.

2011-10-29T14:32:00.002-04:00

My little brother and I had the following conversation via fb chat today. It made me laugh. (Oh, and just fyi-he is a recent college grad, and teaches middle school students at an after school program)

Brother: i made a robot costume.

Me: out of boxes?.

Brother: yep.

Me: awesome. you know what I think you should have dressed up as?.

Brother: what.

Me: a grown up.That's what I'm dressing up as..

Brother: its for the 6th graders butt face.

Me: well, if it's for the children

Brother: Plus, I really like robots.

Brother: lol, it is for the children.

2011-10-11T15:15:00.003-04:00

There was an accident on 270 (which I take to work every day) last night in which a truck carrying thousands of gallons of fuel turned over. The driver died. The traffic backup was so bad that it took me 5 hours (I'm not exaggerating-I left the house at 7am, and did not get to work until after 12pm) to get to work this morning. As I read some of the articles about the wreck on local news websites, I became increasingly irritated by the attitudes expressed in the comment sections. The overwhelming self-interest of people is incredible. Indicating that the driver was just driving irresponsibly when details about the cause have not even been released. People who are more concerned about getting their vehicles back on the road than the fact that somewhere a family is mourning a sudden and tragic loss. Are we really that selfish? Couldn't we put aside our self-interest long enough to show some sympathy for those who are hurting?

Whoever the family is, I am deeply sorry for this loss, and I will be praying that the God of all peace would be their comfort.

Purpose.

2011-10-06T11:33:00.002-04:00

Yesterday, I listened to a sermon series on submission in the workplace by John MacArthur (you can find them at http://sermonaudio.com). They were very helpful on a number of levels, but the one thing that has changed my thinking a little is what he said about our purpose in the world. I hadn’t really thought about it this intensely before, but he said something along the lines of “NONE of you have secular jobs. what you have is a mission field.” He explained that as Christians, our purpose (our ONLY) purpose is to glorify God by leading others into His Kingdom-so whether you are a pastor or a car salesman, your calling is the same: You were created for the purpose of building God’s Kingdom. Wow. It was just so convicting, because to be honest, I’ve found myself depressed over my circumstances in life more often than I’d like to admit. I’ve been anxious over the future, anxious over the present, and bitter about the past. I’ve been dissatisfied with how I look (or don't look), with my (rather dull) personality, with many aspects of life that are beyond my control. But I wasn’t created for the purpose of being pretty, I wasn’t created for the purpose of becoming wealthy, or starting a family of my own. Those are all temporal blessings that may come to some, but they are not what we were made for. We weren't created for our own sake. We have each been created for His purpose-to bring glory to Him. Only when we are doing that can we experience life as He intended us to (free of disappointment, enjoying His love for us and returning His affection by worshiping Him with our whole lives). Very sobering, and though letting go of my own selfish desires and worries may sting a little, I would rather be who I was created to be, and do what I was created to do, than have everything my flesh desires.

Yummy Pizza Dough.

2011-09-22T10:26:00.004-04:00

Last week, I decided to make homemade pizza for the first time. I had always been intimidated by the thought of making my own dough, but it really isn't that hard. Above are my second (no pictures of the first, it wasn't nearly as pretty :-p) and third (mini pizzas I made for church last night) rather successful attempts. oh, and here's the recipe for that dough :)

You will need:

-2 1/2 -3 c Bread Flour
-1 packet (2 1/4 tsp) Fast Rise Yeast
-1/2 tsp salt
-2 Tbsp sugar
-2 Tbsp oil
-1 cup very warm water
-cornmeal (to dust pizza pan)

1. Preheat oven to 450*. Mix 1 cup flour, yeast, salt, and sugar in a large mixing bowl.
2. Add water and oil, stir with a fork until mixture is fully incorporated. (you could use a mixer if you want, but it's just as quick and a fork is easier to clean than the mixer blades, I promise :-p)
3. Add the remaining flour and mix by hand. When dough has formed, place on floured surface and knead for 5-10 minutes.
4. Cover dough with plastic wrap or a clean dish towel and let it rise (If you want to make it exactly like I did, sing the song with the same name as you wait :-p) for 10 minutes.
5. Form dough into 1 large (1 batch of dough makes the one above on the rectangular stone), or two medium sized pies. The dough WILL rise as it bakes, so don't worry if it seems a little thin. 6. Poke with a fork in a few places, and let it sit for another 10 minutes.
7. Bake for 5 minutes, then remove from oven and top as desired (I used mushrooms, bell peppers, and red onions), then return to oven for 5 minutes.

Enjoy your amazing home made pizza and vow never to eat frozen or take out pizza again :-)

I was really surprised that this didn't take longer...I spent as much time as I usually do cooking dinner, and ended up with something I really enjoyed. Plus, I like making bread. Kneading is relaxing.

Aversion to Pet Names.

2011-09-19T10:02:00.003-04:00

I don't know if there is anyone else who experiences this, but I have an EXTREME (most likely irrational) aversion to pet names (honey, sweetie, love, baby etc.). I don't think they used to bother me, but at some point, I developed a gag reflex when people use those words in reference to me. Not all people, there are some who I know well that will occasionally call me "hon" or something and it doesn't bother me. For the most part though, it makes me gag. I don't know what it is, but it makes my skin crawl...I know people use them to express kindness, but it just rubs me the wrong way sometimes. I just had a stranger call me "sweetie" twice, "honey" once, and...ugh..."my love." Now I'm having trouble holding down my breakfast.

Don't get me wrong, I am ALL about showing kindness and love to people. For whatever reason, though, I just have an aversion to pet names. Anyone else have this problem, or one like it?

Speaking of irrational ways of thinking, I'll also mention now that I am terrified of escalators. I think it could even be considered a phobia. I almost have a panic attack when I get up enough courage to stand in front of one, right before I run for the stairs or elevator. It can be sort of embarrassing, like when I went to the movies at Easton with my family and stood in front of the escalator for 5 minutes, and almost started crying...while my brother laughed at me, and eventually got annoyed. "just COME ON!!!" he said. The lady taking tickets finally had pity on me, and let me use the stairs (which they had clocked by one of those ribbon thingies). It was humiliating...especially since I was 21 years old at the time. My fear of escalators has not improved since then, but I am definitely better at avoiding them now ;-)

Good Stuff.

2011-09-13T08:17:00.002-04:00

In the past week or so, I've been reading in Exodus (going through a chronological Bible reading plan as part of the daily scripture reading accountability thing I mentioned before...I'm up to chapter 16). A few things have really stood out to me, and I wanted to record them...as I've mentioned a few times, I post things like this here as both a record for my own sake, and in case anyone else can benefit from what God is teaching me. Here's what's standing out:

God is sensitive to the suffering of His people. Evidenced by:

* "I have surely seen the affliction of my people who are in Egypt. I have heard their cry because of their taskmasters, for I know their sorrows" (Exodus 3:7)

God will always make provision when He calls us to do something. Evidence?

*God promised to be Moses' mouth, and when that wasn't good enough for Moses, he sent Aaron to help.
*When Moses was afraid that words would not be enough, the Lord gave him supernatural signs to display before the people (staff to serpent, plagues, etc.)
*Um, hello? Parting the red sea?
*Also, manna.

We are quick to forget that He will make a way. Evidenced by:

*uh, all of human history pretty much. But I suppose specifically from Exodus...
*Moses' arguing with God-stating all of the reasons he was unqualified to lead the people out of Egypt and begging that someone, anyone!, else be sent. Along with a few other times where He questioned what he was doing, and lacked confidence in God's plan.
*When the Hebrews first heard that God was going to lead them to the promised land, they were ecstatic. Then Pharaoh increased their workload, and they were upset that Moses had even spoken to them. Then at long last after all of the plagues, when they had crossed the Red Sea they sang a song of praise to God and triumph over their captors. But soon after, when the food they had brought began to dwindle and they feared starvation or worse, they moaned and said that it would have been better if they had died in Egypt.
*When God sent bread from heaven to feed them, He told them to take as much as they could carry, but not to save any until morning (because He would provide again the very next day, and it would be enough...there's so much to glean from this portion of scripture about His incredible provision!)...but they disobeyed and hoarded it.

Though it may seem harsh sometimes, everything God does is so that people may know Him. Evidence?

*It seems to me that the Almighty could have led them people out of Egypt through some miraculous means...an incredible military victory, raised up a compassionate leader for Egypt who would release them from their enslavement, or heck, He could have beamed 'em up to the promise land, right?! But He didn't. He chose a hard road for them. He brought plagues on the land of Egypt that affected both the Egyptians and Hebrews, but the whole purpose was so that they would know that He is Lord. The Egyptians may never have seen the power of God if it had not been for the plagues...horrible things in and of themselves that likely caused much suffering, but to reveal Himself, His power and His grace when the suffering ended, to people is the kindest most loving thing He could possible do. (also interesting: God chose to go through the proper channels-having Moses ask Pharaoh's permission, and obtain it, before they went anywhere.)

All these things remind me that: God is compassionate, sovereign, and patient. He will provide everything I need on a daily basis if I follow Him where He leads. I have nothing to fear, and no insufficiency on my part determines what God can do through me.

Hope you all are having a wonderful week, and making the best of whatever circumstances you may be facing right now by placing your faith in our great God!

Cajun seasoned Oven Fries.

2011-09-08T14:50:00.002-04:00

Yum. I recently made Texas broil, green beans, and cajun seasoned oven fries for dinner. I had never made homemade oven fries before (growing up, we always just bought OreIda), but I'm so glad I tried it. It's super easy and quick, and so much better for you than store bought or fast food fries! Here's how I made 'em:

You'll need:

*3-4 Medium sized potatoes

*2-3 Tbsp Olive Oil

*Cajun Spice Mix-use as much or as little as you like (in other words, I eyeballed it...I had Kroger's value brand on hand, which only costs a dollar!)

What to do:

1. Preheat oven to 450*.

2. slice potatoes into slivers, and place in a mixing bowl.

3. Add Olive oil, then spice mix. Turn the potatoes over in the mixture until they are evenly coated.

4. Place in single layer on baking stone and bake for 25 minutes. (Note: from what I understand, if you use a cookie sheet or other metal bakeware, you will need to turn them halfway through cooking. Since I used a baking stone, though, that wasn't necessary :-) Anything to make life easier, I say!)

Also, I wanted to share the cost breakdown of this meal, which I was super excited about! I already had the seasonings and oil on hand, so I'm not going to count them in my cost break down. Potatoes: $.40 (I bought a 10 lb bag at Sam's Club for a litle under $4, and I generously estimated a pound for the potatoes I used in this dish), steak: $2.50 (they were on sale buy one get one free, and I only made one of them for this meal), Green Beans: free (from a friend's garden). There were about 3 servings from each, so the total cost per plate was $0.97!

In case you're curious, I used a little bit of Old Bay to season the steak, and sea salt, pepper, and a splash of red wine vinegar for the green beans. (At least I remembered this time, but sorry for the lousy picture. You can blame my phone and poor eyesight. :-p...and about the towel underneath, laid that on top of a warm baking stone while trying to find the best angle so my food wouldn't get cold. Still not a great angle, but you'll be glad to know my dinner was still hot :))

Just a Few Things.

2011-09-03T12:30:00.002-04:00

-Still thinking about planning a vacation, I have no idea where to, maybe somewhere out west? I think I wrote about it before, but sometimes I daydream about just getting up and walking as far as my feet will take me in a day, camping out for the night, and doing the same thing all over again the next day, and the next. Maybe hiking part of the Appalachian trail? I don't think I'd be brave enough to do that by myself, but maybe I could convince someone to go with me. Though, I watched a documentary about it and plenty of people go it alone, and stay safe. I'm still open to suggestions, friends, so let me know if you've gone somewhere that you really LOVED!

-This has been sort of a long week. I've worked more hours than I've ever worked, but ironically, work has been the highlight of my week. I am really enjoying it more than ever and appreciating the opportunity I have to impact other people on a daily basis. In fact, on Wednesday, I woke up thinking "I can't wait to go to work! this day is going to be fantastic!" and then the car wouldn't start. And when I finally got to work half an hour late, the phones were down. And I left early so that we could get the car to a mechanic (it's still not fixed, but hopefully on Tuesday we'll get it back...it seems to be the season for car trouble!).

-You know what kind of bugs me? when people say "Hi, how are you?" and you say "I'm fi..." but they cut you off and say "so I was wondering..." What's the purpose of asking? maybe it's not the norm anymore, but I'm always looking for an (honest) answer when I ask "how are you?" I've never used it as a greeting. Does this bother anyone else?

-Okay, and you know what REALLY ticks me off?...Yesterday on the way home from work, there was a fatal car accident (of course none of us on the road really knew that at the time), and traffic was backed up-SERIOUSLY backed up, it took 2 hours to get home, when usually it takes 30-45minutes. So some people took it upon themselves to DRIVE ON THE SHOULDER to try and avoid the traffic. So, I was lecturing these people (who obviously couldn't hear me) "okay, folks, the reason that space is there is for disabled vehicles or emergency vehicles that need to bypass traffic in order to get to-imagine that-an emergency!" Then, of course, an ambulance on the way to the fatal, 4 vehicle accident has to drive around these idiots-on the grass outside of the shoulder. And these people were getting mad because nobody was letting them back on the road. I mean, have these people no sense?? What happens if they are the one waiting for help next time? I'm still fuming about it-I can't even remember what the other things I was planning on blogging about were. Lord, help me!

-I love fruit on the bottom greek yogurt-to me, it's like cheesecake, without all the extra calories. My favorite right now is Athenos Black Cherry. Yum!

-I made some copycat Red Lobster Cheddar Bay biscuits from a recipe found in Top Secret Restaurant Recipes:2 . This guy knows what he's doing, apparently, because my co-workers loved them. I've never tried Red Lobster biscuits, but I'm told these come pretty darn close. You can find the recipe here :-)

-Note to self: Start taking pictures of this stuff to post on the blog! :-p

Hope y'all have a wonderful weekend. I get two whole days off, and I hardly know what to do with myself! Craft? spend a whole day walking? watch tv? (I seriously hope I don't end up doing that!) Clean house? Go through my stuff and simplify? So many options :-)

And So it Begins.

2011-08-29T15:46:00.003-04:00

It's not even autumn yet, but the slight chill in the area already has me daydreaming of vacation plans. It's not even September and I've been looking up cruises (that I will probably never go on)! I think it's going to be a long winter, guys. But seriously, I'm thinking about actually taking a real vacation sometime next year. I'd be going alone, and working for a non-profit, my budget is limited, but I'd be willing to save awhile if it meant going somewhere REALLY fantastic :-p Anyone have suggestions of fun (safe :) ) places to go? I enjoy big cities, but warmer climates...I've never been on a real vacation in my life...we've always gone to visit family, and I've traveled for mission trips, but never just a vacation. What do YOU say?

Summer Crafting Adventures!

2011-08-19T10:08:00.003-04:00

As I mentioned a few posts ago, visiting Pinterest every day has inspired me to create, so I thought I'd share what I've made so far I've made this summer.(Not pictured are: two skirts, several pairs of earrings, 3 nest necklaces in different colors, two rings, and...I know I'm forgetting something-I really do need to take pictures of those things)

Here's one of the necklaces (I don't know why the picture is so big!). It seems sort of wintry, so I've only worn it once. I'll probably wear it more when it starts to get cold.
Here is a flower headband. That's a button in the center, and the fabric is some leftover from one of the skirts I made. This (along with the necklace below) was a gift to one of my cousins. (BTW-how pretty is that button?! I want about 100 more of them. They came in a box full of all sorts of things that mom found at a garage sale for $o.50)A Bird's Nest necklace. I am kind of obsessed with these right now. I even made a bird's nest ring using bronze wire and cobalt blue glass beads, but haven't been able to get a good picture of it yet. They are fun to make, and so pretty.

And finally, my favorite creation of the summer (possibly even year!), a messenger bag I sewed for my brother! It is leather-look vinyl, lined with cotton. I intended to make a laptop sleeve, but when I finished the sleeve part, it looked so classy that I HAD to add straps. This picture is a little deceiving because of how the bag was hanging-the flap is the same width as the rest of the bag, not bigger, so it actually lays differently (better) than what you see here. I want to keep it for myself :-p Too bad my brother likes it so much. Now I have to send it away to Texas and make myself one at another time :-) oh yeah, it took about 6 hours total (I made it in 2 days) to cut the fabric and sew this bag; the vinyl was pretty thick, it took longer to pin and sew (my machine is not heavy duty...though I'm hoping to change that before too long :-) ). And cost? Let's see..I used about half a yard of vinyl (which was on clearance $6/yd), half a yard of broadcloth (which I got for $1.79/yd), a package of D rings (about $2), and thread I had on hand. So, for all materials, that would be about $5.90. Pretty sweet, huh? :-)

2011-08-16T14:35:00.003-04:00

Autumn always brings back such sweet memories of campus. The other day, I could smell the seasons starting to charge when a cool breeze swept in through the window, and suddenly I was back in college. Wondering around the quiet oval at 9:18am until my next class at 11am. The leaves falling in front of me, then crunching between my feet and the brick pathway that leads to the library. Past the library, to Mirror Lake, to sit in the grass and enjoy some quiet time. It was there that the Holy Spirit convicted me, as I read in Hebrews 4 about the sabbath, almost 6 years ago when I was trying to decide whether to apply for a job at the Medical Center (where I would have had to work every other Sunday). I read that in the very same Bible that is laying in front of me right now, which I had a break down about losing the following Autumn when I left it on a bench outside of Macquigg lab one afternoon. Receiving an email from someone who had found it that evening (when I was probably still crying about losing it) produced the greatest sense of joy and relief.

Running into friends from church at the union, outside of the library, in front of the Wexner center...meeting for lunch at Mirror Lake...Sitting in the musty basement of an old building waiting for class to start when it got too chilly outside. OH-and the gyro cart, smelling the peppers and onions grilling as I walked to class. Yum.

When I had my evening classes, walking around campus half thrilled, half terrified by the empty sidewalks and soft glow of the street lights. Hearing the marching band practice. Nervously waiting to fail my chem midterms (surprisingly, never did). Such fond memories...I love this time of year :-)

(I don't love the season after fall, though, so don't be surprised if come December I become a short term missionary to the Bahamas :-p )

New Appreciation.

2011-08-13T13:40:00.002-04:00

Hello Friends :-) I've been gaining a new appreciation for true friendship. I guess getting an opportunity to have some really good conversations lately has made me realize that true friends don't necessarily talk on the phone all the time, or see each other regularly, but it's the kind of friendship where you can sit down with someone and have a REAL conversation. It doesn't have to happen every week, or month, or even year. Or sometimes just be quiet-without any awkwardness. I have lots of people like that in my life, (thank you, Lord!), people I see all the time but don't necessarily have those deep conversations with all the time but could/do once in a while (does that even make sense?). I know that some of those friends read this, I hope you know who you are... (chances are, if we know each other in person, and you read this blog, you're one of 'em), and I hope you know how much I love and appreciate you.

I've been trying to get back in the habit of reading scripture daily. I always have a quiet time (reading devotions, scripture, etc.), but I'm not using it to spend as much time in the Word as I'd like to, so I posted a note on facebook asking if anyone would be willing to hold me accountable for it until I get back in the habit. I was hesitant to post it, because I wasn't sure I wanted to be called on my BS excuses, but I really want to KNOW Him, and right now, it's what I need. A friend I know from church responded saying that she would like that kind of accountability, too. I'm so glad I decided to ask for help! She had the idea of emailing each other a brief message about what stood out every day (at least until it's a habit). It's only been a few days, but I already feel that intense hunger for the Word returning. The more I know, the more I WANT to know!

Let's see, what else is new? Oh! I went to Joann today and picked up a few things for some projects I have in mind. A few jewelry findings/beads for some Christmas gifts (getting a head start this year!), and some leather-look vinyl to make something manly for that brother of mine, and some insanely cute fat quarters for who knows what. I don't know why I go to Joann before work-it's like torture to buy the things I need for a project then have to go sit at a desk away from my sewing machine and beading tools for hours. All I can say is, I can't wait to get home!

Oh, yes. The blog I tried to post but couldn't-here's the story. 2 weeks ago on Sunday, a boy in his late teens was standing in my way when I needed to pass, so he said "Oh, I'm sorry, M'am" simply out of respect. When did I become a M'am????!!! I am still young. I thought "he needs his eyesight checked." Then during the week at VBS, I overheard one little boy ask another if I was his mother. Aw, cute. Then I realized I AM old enough to be his mother. When did THAT happen? Also, when did the kids who work at grocery stores and fast food places start looking so young? Did they change the min. age of employment laws? Maybe it's just all a part of getting older. (the very young end of getting older ;-) )

2011-08-04T11:47:00.002-04:00

NOOO! Before I updated the design here, I published a new post but apparently it has been lost :-(

Maybe I can re-write that post later. I'm too bummed about losing it right now. Anyway, I also wanted to say that our VBS is going GREAT (Thanks for praying!). We had around 75 kids the first day, 70 kids the second day, and yesterday I think the final count was 64. That's dozens of kids who have been exposed to the gospel every day this week...kids who are being taught how to share Christ with their friends, who are being taught what it means to prepare for spiritual warfare by putting on the armor of God. It's really exciting to think about the kind of impact this week may have on the rest of their lives, individually, as well as for the Kingdom of Christ.

I have really enjoyed fellowship with the people I'm serving with in the nursery this week. My ministry/job is very stressful, and usually after work I just want to go home, but I have really enjoyed just sitting in there getting to know a few people a little better. It has also been nice to see the youth group in action-this group of kids really seems to have a heart for serving. They have been eager to help, always looking for something to do for others. I can't even express how encouraging that has been. They just got back from youth camp, and I'm praying that the fire doesn't die out.

2011-08-01T12:52:00.003-04:00

Boy, am I exhausted today! I spent most of yesterday helping my dad move from his third floor apartment to a new place a few miles away (Praise the Lord, the new one has no stairs to go up and down!). I had planned to spend the day helping with our church's VBS decorating workday, but I was concerned about my dad over doing it with his heart condition (turns out, he spent most of the time walking around with a plastic hanger trying to look like he was doing something :-p). He had hired a few guys to help move the big stuff before I got there. He had an 80 year old guy from his old apartment building help him unload the truck...he was a trip, let me tell you! He's a self-proclaimed West Virginia hillbilly, and he continuously tells stories about his life-largely incoherent stories- and dirty jokes (UGH). He forgets who he's talking to, and where he is, quite frequently as well. He said he had the most fun he's had in quite awhile spending time with us yesterday, and I'm glad we could brighten his day. Most of his friends and family are gone now, so he only has strangers to tell his life story to. It nearly brought me to tears when he first started talking to us. Sadly, he has no filter-NO FILTER- and my compassion did wane a little through the day. I have a few funny stories from yesterday, but unfortunately, they really are not appropriate to post on the internet.

Anyway, my entire body is sore today from carrying stuff up and down those steps for 3+ hours (nobody else was really physically able to, and I can only carry so much at a time). I'm also really sleepy-I don't think I got enough rest last night, but I am really REALLY excited about this week! Our church is having its first annual Vacation Bible School this week (if you're in central Ohio and would like to find out more, you can visit LBC's website), and things are coming together really nicely. I am just helping out with childcare for the volunteers (the little ones who are too young for VBS), but I know how much programs like this can impact a young life, and I'm praying that these kids will grow in knowledge & faith this week. I trusted in Christ at the age of 13 in response to hearing the gospel at the first day of VBS in White Sulphur Springs, WV. That's probably one of the many reasons WSS is so special to me-each time I go there I reminded of that turning point. The entire course of my life was changed that day, and the cry of my heart is that someone else-even MANY others- would have that same experience this week. If you think about it, please pray for all kids attending VBS/youth camps this summer :-)

Deliver Us.

2011-08-01T09:18:00.002-04:00

I've had this song stuck in my head lately (not a bad song to hear repeatedly, either). It's from Andrew Peterson's Christmas album, Behold the Lamb of God, but it's not really a christmas song. Here are the lyrics:

Our enemy, our captor is no pharaoh on the Nile
Our toil is neither mud nor brick nor sand
Our ankles bear no calluses from chains, yet Lord, we're bound
Imprisoned here, we dwell in our own land

Deliver us, deliver us
Oh Yahweh, hear our cry
And gather us beneath your wings tonight

Our sins they are more numerous than all the lambs we slay
These shackles they were made with our own hands
Our toil is our atonement and our freedom yours to give
So Yahweh, break your silence if you can

Deliver us, deliver us
Oh Yahweh, hear our cry
And gather us beneath your wings tonight

'Jerusalem, Jerusalem
How often I have longed
To gather you beneath my gentle wings'

Take a listen

Has it really been 3 weeks?

2011-07-12T09:37:00.002-04:00

I just happened to log in to my blogger account and saw that it has been 3 weeks since I last posted anything. Is this true? It doesn't seem like it has been that long. This summer is FLYING by!

I haven't really been doing much of anything, unless you count work, yard work, cleaning, cooking, the usual. Oh, but I have found two websites that seem to be taking up all of my down time at work. Just in case you haven't heard of them, check out www.pinterest.com (a great place for craft/sewing/fashion inspiration) and www.foodgawker.com (a great place to find awesome recipes). I think my creativity has increased 300% since I started checking out those sites. If you join pinterest, let me know, or find me there. I would love to see what you share!

I've been so busy with things at home, I've paused the thirty day shred and will probably get back to it next month. I've still been getting plenty of activity in, but I haven't been able to set aside time for the DVD.

Spiritually, I've been going through a time of realization-that this world is fallen, and because of that, things will not always be as God intended them to be. The impact of sin is so far-reaching, and while we can be free of the penalty of sin, and experience great joy and many blessings as a result of redemption, the consequences of sin's entrance into the world are still present. That makes for some really sad circumstances, sometimes, but somehow, just knowing that it's not what God intended for us, that it is a consequence of man's choice, that it is what man has done with the freedom God gave us... makes those things easier to cope with. As an aside, being phlegmatic also helps :-p

So, for better or worse, that's what's been going on in my life lately. Hope you all are enjoying this time of year, and that we all get to experience joy & freedom in Jesus in a special way today!

30 Day Shred update (and then some).

2011-06-19T21:40:00.003-04:00

30 Day Shred:

I've been doing the 30 Day Shred for one week, and the difference that has made is incredible! I have only lost 1 lb as of yesterday, but I have lost nearly 2 inches off my waist, and am starting to see some definition in my arms (btw...if you're looking for a workout to do before you hit the beach, I would highly recommend this one). In one week, I have noticed a huge increase in endurance through the workout. When I started, I was doing a modified version of jumping jacks and jump rope (Jillian doesn't give that to you, but I knew of a few from other workout DVDs), couldn't make it through all reps of certain strength training exercises (granted, I've been using my 5 lb weights), and felt like I was going to die during the ab workouts. As of last night, I did all of the full jumping jacks, did a combination of modified/standard jump rope, made it through most of the strength reps, and totally survived the ab workouts. I am so surprised at the changes that have happened in just the first week, and that really encourages me to stick with it. I don't anticipate losing alot of weight from this workout in particular, but I'm hoping that by the end of thirty days my strength will have increased enough that I can handle much tougher workouts.

And Then Some:
I've been sort of discouraged these past few weeks, but it's the kind of discouragement that leads to discontent with how I've been living, and a renewed desire to give God my ALL. I've sort of been taking it easy in my walk-still seeking God, and still serving Him, but in the ways I always have, not getting out of my comfort zone. Recent events have made me aware of the need to get out of my comfort zone in order to further the kingdom, obey Jesus' commission to go and make disciples (Matthew 28:19-20). To be completely honest, I would have to say that I have been failing in that area. To be completely honest, I've been living a little selfishly. I'm praying about how God wants me to respond to this conviction, where he wants me to go (maybe it's just picking up the phone or sending a message via fb to start?). If you think about it, please pray for me as I seek His will. He doesn't need me to accomplish His plans, but I love Him, and I SO want to be a part of what He's doing where He'll allow me to be.

I often feel like the worst sinner out there, and I'm realizing that is because the Holy Spirit dwells in me and convicts me of my sin...It is an increased sensitivity due to the presence of God in my life, due to my relationship with Him, and the fact that I love Him. My sin (please don't misunderstand me, I do not live in carnality. We all have our struggles, though) weighs so heavily on me because I actually care about offending God. It is comforting to know that even though I feel like the worst sinner out there, God is changing my heart and increasing my sensitivity to the things that offend Him. There's hope for me yet. He is doing the same for you, friend, if you have trusted and are walking in Him... He won't quit until His work in us is perfected! (Philippians 1:6)

30 Day Shred.

2011-06-15T08:34:00.002-04:00

As I mentioned in a previous post, I've really been trying to change the way I eat. That's going really well. In fact, I don't even want the processed foods anymore. I'm trying to be very diligent about only eating things that I make myself so I know exactly what's in the food, and so I know I'm not putting harmful chemicals in my body. Guys, I cannot even begin to express how much better I feel!

I also mentioned before that I've started exercising consistently again. Well, last weekend, my mom picked up Jillian Michaels' 30 Day Shred for me from a garage sale (only $1-awesome). This is a great workout! She uses a 3-2-1 strength-cardio-abs circuit (3 minutes strength training, 2 minutes cardio, 1 minute abs), and it is only 27 minutes with warm-up and cool-down. My muscles were SO sore on days 1 &2, day 3 I was less sore, and today is even better. Jillian is actually really encouraging. I have used The Biggest Loser Workout (Bob Harper is the trainer on that DVD) many, many times-I really like it, but I have to say that I like 30 Day Shred better so far. I love that it combines strength training and cardio...I can handle cardio, but I have trouble getting motivated for strength training. I can't believe how much my endurance has improved in just 4 days :-0 I'm excited to see how my body changes as I continue, and I will probably be posting updates on my progress here. I would highly recommend it to anyone. Has anyone else tried 30 Day Shred? What did you think?

Thank God for being God!

2011-06-11T15:41:00.002-04:00

Just wanted to post a quick update. Not a whole lot new here, but God's love for me, His perfection and constancy in this fallen and inconsistent world, His payment for my sin, and the peace that can only come from Him have been so apparent to me in these last few weeks.

I'm revisiting many of the things that were so wrong, so contrary to the way things ought to be, when I was growing up. Realizing that in many ways I was robbed of my childhood. But understanding that God, my heavenly Father, is the great Healer and I can trust completely in Him alone. He has been my comfort and my peace as I deal with these things.

I've been really into re-purposing fabric (old t-shirts, sheets, etc.), and I have a few projects in the works (or at least in mind). When I really get stuck in, I will take pictures to show you. The first one I'm going to work on will be a baby quilt (don't know who for yet), made with squares from some blouses. I can't wait to get started on it (so far, I have only cut the blouses into squares), but I probably won't until some time in July.

Let's see...what else? I guess that's all for now, I'm getting ready to go to Whole Foods (love that place!).

up to the mountain

2011-06-01T09:21:00.001-04:00

There's gold in 'em Hills (AKA why I love visiting my fam in WV)

2011-05-29T21:47:00.005-04:00

I've decided to write this post a little differently, since everything is so fresh in my memory... just a heads up ;-)

You wake up at 3am. Okay, really it was more like 3:25am. You get a shower, get dressed, and head out the door with your mother to travel to West Virginia for a reunion. But, you can't get out the door without having forgotten at least 2 very important things (an ingredient to the dish you're bringing, and oh heck, how am I supposed to remember what the other thing was NOW?) and going back inside twice to retrieve them.

Ah, you're on the road finally. And then you stop at Speedway to get gas (glad that you're "only" paying $3.72/gallon thanks to the gasbuddy app on your phone) and some coffee...okay, so they were frappucinos. Gas station coffee is not my cup of... well, you know.

And NOW you're on the road. For real. A few hours into the trip, you're awake enough to actually have a conversation, so you tell your mom about this blog you've been reading, and how the woman lives in the country and has to deal with things like muddy/manure caked boots and jeans. You explain that you're way too much of a city girl to deal with that. For crying out loud, you nearly assaulted another child when you were 4 years old by throwing her "dirty" sandbox toys from your kiddie pool! You hate mud, and bugs, and even potentially messy foods, you say. Your mother laughs at you and says "you know what you're asking for, right?"... "whatever."

The drive continues, your hand out the window, fingers outstretched to feel the cool morning breeze flow past like water. You're almost to Marietta now, and you smell it. That glorious, beautiful, sweet scent of Mountain Jasmine (as you have dubbed it since it smells similar to the exotic jasmine flower...it's actually a type of honeysuckle that grows in the southern ohio/west Virginia hills). You breathe in deeply...this is something you only experience once a year, and you want to savor it. You breathe in deeply again, but...oh, yuck. Natural gas. This transition of scents continues until you reach Weston, WV. You delight in watching the sunrise through the mountains, and you smile at the sight of cows, horses, and sheep. You could stare at those mountains forever and never get bored. You could watch the animals (from afar, of course, remember how much you hate the smell of poo?) all day long.

Finally, your ascent up Green Hill begins. You have been slightly nervous about this because the traveling you have been doing this month has brought about a sort of car-weariness including a bit of nausea when there are twists and turns. And oh, are there twists and turns going up Green Hill. But surprisingly, this time it doesn't bother me at all. It's quite an enjoyable journey. Enter 20ft tree that has tipped over onto the road. Crap. You have to get out of the car and move it before you can continue your happy journey and see loved ones. Man, that sucker is heavy. You pull and drag and pull and drag for quite some time before finally getting the entire tree to lay flat (kind of) so that you can push it out of the road. Oh, MAN is that sucker heavy!!!! You're having trouble doing it by yourself, but then another lady approaches (also on the way to the reunion at Green Hill Church) and mom finally stops taking pictures, gets out of the car, and the three of you are able to just barely get the tree out of the way. Um, your jeans are muddy now. So are your shoes. And you've got a little on your shirt. Oh yeah, your hair that you tried so hard to keep in place throughout the trip? Forget about that, sister. You put your hair in a pony tail, get back in the car, and notice a man from the gas company driving a big white van has just come down the opposite side of the one lane dirt road. Men? Yeah, we don't need 'em, apparently. But seriously guy, where were you fifteen minutes ago?! You laugh at the irony of the situation, and keep going with a slight sense of accomplishment.

Just a few minutes later, you arrive at Green Hill Church. The building is leaning a little, but the caretakers have installed cables across to make sure it doesn't collapse. There are also new windows. They are very nice. you are the first people to arrive for the meetin' but just a few seconds later, Uncle Charles, Aunt Libby, and their son, Chuck, pull in. It's great to see them. You mix up the cornbread salad you brought in a bowl on the hood of the car while mom goes to take pictures in the cemetery. More people begin to show; Vickie & Anthony, Uncle Mike & Aunt Judy, Aunt Pearl & Uncle Bill, Aunt Cathy & Uncle Ernie, Mamaw & Papaw, Aunt Tammy, Tiffany, Jefferson, Uncle Loy, more cousins, lots of people you don't know. But you totally feel at home, and are so excited to see everyone.

The meetin' begins: there is singing, talking, a report on the church/cemetery upkeep and finances, more singing, more talking, followed by a delicious potluck lunch. The church building is really only used for the reunion now, from what you understand, but the offering from last year - to help keep it standing and in good repair, and to keep the cemetery mowed- was overwhelming to you. These are gracious people who really care about remembering and honoring those who have gone before them.

After lunch, you go over to check out mamaw and papaw's trailer. They own property on Green Hill, and have been remodeling a trailer to stay in when they come up to hunt in the fall, or to stay for a weekend. You are glad to be in any air conditioned space, since it is now above eighty degrees outside. The trailer is nice, and you wish you could come spend a few days just to help them finish fixing it up.

After awhile, you ride out to the camp with mamaw and papaw, and because of the recent rain, upon stepping out of their car, your shoes get covered in mud. As if you needed more irony today... You shrug it off, and realize how different your life is from those around you at that moment. You are totally suburban, but realize that they're right..."clothes can be washed, the house doesn't have to be spotless all the time, and you appreciate what the good Lord has blessed you with, whether the furniture matches or not."

You then play volleyball with your *extremely competitive and hilarious* aunts, uncles (these would be papaw's sibs & sibs-in-law), and cousins. The self-proclaimed captains arguing over whether or not the other team was cheating, the cheers and laughing from the sideline (as well as Uncle Bill's impartial commentary :-)), you actually being an asset to your team a few times, and watching your 71 year old papaw act like a kid with his brothers and sister make this an absolutely priceless and memorable experience.

Before long, it's time to go, so Aunt Judy drives us back to their house so she can dig up some beautiful rose bushes- that your great grandpa had planted for your great grandma many years ago- to give to your mom. We get them loaded in the car, and start the trip home. You can't help smiling with so many happy thoughts to dwell on, and the scent of mountain jasmine mixing with great-grandma's fragrant roses to accompany you.

P.S. You took some pretty pictures of the mountain. You'll post those soon.

For two Wednesdays in a row...

2011-05-25T11:02:00.003-04:00

I have put my shirt on backwards, and not realized for several hours...haha. Maybe I was still asleep while getting dressed? I haven't been sleeping very well lately.

I felt like it's about time I posted something (it's been about a week, right?), so....let's see...what's new?

*I'm reading this GREAT book called Death by Love: Letters from the Cross by Mark Driscoll and Gerry Breshears. It's basically a collection of letters that Mark has written to people who are dealing with BIG life issues (abuse, adultery, bitterness, pride, etc.); he explains to them why these issues even exist in the first place (sin), the ways that they have been dealt with through Jesus' death on the cross, and what that person needs to do in order to experience the benefits of His work on the cross (whether it be experiencing God's forgiveness, reconciling with someone who has wronged them or been wronged by them, or following Christ's example). My description really doesn't do it justice, but trust me, it is SO worth the read. It is giving me a greater appreciation for and understanding of the atonement. I would love to hear your thoughts if you have read it!

*I've started working out consistently again. It's a little harder to get started this time than it was last time...maybe that's because I haven't been resting very well. But I think it will get better soon.

*I'm trying to change the way I eat. For a long time, I've wanted to eat fresher, whole foods and cut out the processed foods, white bread, and refined sugars. But I just haven't. I'm changing things slowly, not eliminating everything I want to right now, but making small positive changes. I'm also feeling a strong sense of responsibility for the kind of food I make for other people (for potlucks, or for the Weds. night refreshment ministry at Church), so we'll see what kind of changes that stirs, too :-)

*I would appreciate prayer, if you think of it, that God would give me wisdom and make His will clear to me about what my next steps should be. I had planned to stay where I am and start grad school through LU Online in the fall, but I'm getting a sort of vague sense that there is something else I need to do first...I just don't know what that is.

Vacation Part 2

2011-05-19T09:27:00.002-04:00

So, instead of waiting until Monday to travel down to West Virginia, I mowed the law, finished packing, and Mom and I made the 5 hour journey down to White Sulphur Springs. It's one of my favorite places on earth, and I'm realizing that is because some people I love dearly are there. Put them in any other town, and that will be the most beautiful place in the world to me. That's not to say that WSS isn't gorgeous on its own-it is. Mountains everywhere you look, the Greenbrier resort, Blue Bend, the Greenbrier river, it's all beautiful. But if it wasn't for my family, you wouldn't find me there 2-3 times a year.

The second week of vacation was very relaxing. Each day was pretty much the same. Ate a great breakfast prepared by either my mom or my papaw(who, by the way, was asked to come back to work a few months ago and is working around 50 hours a week...at 71 years old...and he still made breakfast for us a few days before he went in to work. He's pretty awesome :-) ). Watched the Food Network and chatted with mamaw and mom. Later in the day, we'd go to Aunt Tammy & Uncle Eddie's and hang out with my cousins, Tiffany and Jefferson. Tiffany is 19, and attending the community college. She has autism, and is involved in Special Olympics; one day last week, I went and helped with their tennis practice. They really are special athletes, and I had fun spending time with them :-) Jefferson is 11, and is also fun to hang out with. He's really sensitive, for a boy, thoughtful, and considerate. For instance, he has trouble reading, so he prefers to play video games that don't require much reading, but they had a trivia game that Tiffany and I really liked playing (Jefferson really didn't like it much because there was a time limit on the answers, and with his difficulty reading, he got frustrated), so he offered to play that with us. He could have just gone back to his room and played those stupid fighting games on his PlayStation, but he decided to spend time with his cousin playing a game he doesn't like. He's a good kid :-)

In the evenings, we had delicious suppers. On Monday, Thursday, and Saturday, Jefferson had baseball games that we went to, and in spite of the mosquitoes, I had a great time. During the first game (which "our" team lost), my grandparents were standing near the fence right behind the ump trying to keep him honest. It was wet out, and part of home plate was covered when our team was pitching (so, of course, he kept calling what should have been a strike a ball), but swept it off for the bottom of the inning, so papaw said to him "it's a little bit bigger, now, isn't it?" the guy just kind of grinned and nodded... he left it at that, but mamaw and papaw both kept on watching right behind him, haha.

Basically, I spent the whole week enjoying the company of my wonderful family. My eyes were sometimes filled with tears realizing how quickly time is passing. While we were down there, we heard the news that one of my grandma's cousins had passed away, and for some reason, it really hit home with me. It pains me to think that one day I will be there, having lost my parents, grandparents, aunts, and uncles, and losing those in my own generation...and it pains me to think about my grandparents going through that now. I confess that what I am most afraid of, personally, is having to go through all of those experiences alone. If I never get married and start a family of my own, when I get to the point in life where those that came before me have gone, what will that be like? I'm not really worried, because I know who has all of my tomorrows in His hand, and I know that He loves me... He is my everything, and will ALWAYS sustain me... but I admit that the thought scares me a little.

The consequences of sin, the fall of man, suck. DEATH sucks.

Thank God that He has provided a way for all to be reunited eternally; that is, if we trust that His death on the cross payed the penalty for our sin, in Him we find forgiveness and are promised to live eternally with Him.

Vacation Part 1

2011-05-16T12:33:00.002-04:00

So, for the past two weeks I have been enjoying a much needed vacation. Part 1 was spent in Fort Worth, TX, where I had the honor of watching my little brother graduate from the College at SWBTS. I'm so proud of that kid :-)

My mom and I flew down early Thursday morning, and my brother met us at the airport. He took us to a shady Mexican restaurant for lunch, which actually turned out to be quite tasty (though I don't think I want to see the kitchen...). Then, I had to go buy a new phone because mine had been dead for 5 days and I just couldn't survive without one anymore. I ended up getting a Sidekick 4g, and I LOVE it!

I also had the great pleasure of staying with some of my favorite people in the world, Isaac and Holly, while I was there. They have two awesome little girls, and it was so much fun hanging out with them. They used to live in Ohio, too, but God called them to Ft. Worth to prepare for ministry. I've missed them so much! Holly is one of those friends that I have never felt guarded around. One of those friends who I could talk with for hours about anything and everything. One of those friendships where you can just pick up where you left off, no matter how long it has been since you last spoke. For me, unfortunately, those kind of friendships have been few and far between, so it was SOOOO refreshing to catch up with her!

The first night in Fort worth, some of us girls stayed in, ate pizza, and just talked. Such sweet fellowship :-)

I was also able to spend time with some family members (on dad's side) whom I haven't seen in several years. It was nice catching up with them, as well, and reminiscing about the old days (my aunt and uncle also used to live in Ohio, and we spent a lot of time with them growing up).

My brother's graduation was unlike any graduation I've been to before. It was like a worship service; it was held in a church, we sang hymns, and the president of the seminary gave a sermon-like address to the new graduates. Also, it was shorter than any graduation I have ever been to. After the graduation, my dad took some close friends and family out to lunch at Vallarta Seafood and Grill. That was a fun time :-)

The day after graduation, my brother promised to show us around Ft. Worth. Apparently that means shopping and asking "so, what do you guys want to do now?" (of course, I had never been to Ft. Worth before, so I had no idea what there was to see/do). We went to Ross (which is similar to TJ Maxx, or Marshall's, only the prices are even better), Half Price books, and the ginormous Target. Then Ali had to meet some friends and clean their church, so we got to see the church he goes to and sit in the College group room for about an hour waiting for him. Then he took us back to Holly and Isaac's, so Holly and I went to Starbucks for a friend-date (just what I needed!!!!).

We had a great time in Texas, and I can't wait to go back :-) We left early on Sunday morning for Columbus. When we got home, I mowed the lawn and packed my bags again to head to WV for week 2 of my vacation :-)

Spring is Here!

2011-04-27T08:43:00.003-04:00

We don't treat our lawn with chemicals; we have a dog and we just don't feel it would be safe for her. Because of this, in the springtime before mowing, a blanket of dandelions cover the ground. They are considered noxious weeds, but I think they are so pretty and whimsical...

This is the pear tree I planted last year...

A lone grape hyacinth growing (about 10 ft) away from the others...

Double daffodils...

Apple blossoms...

I am so thankful to my Heavenly Father for the spring flowers; it is such a blessing to look at them, they bring joy and refreshment to my soul :-)

Fit Brains.

2011-04-15T15:46:00.002-04:00

Sometimes at work, I play games (solitaire, crossword puzzles, hidden object) online in between calls/IM/Email/other work related stuff to break up the seriousness/frustration/sadness/overall craziness of the day. Today, while playing one I saw a tab that said "science" and when I clicked on it, an explanation of how that particular game improved memory and cognition came up! This was incredible exciting to me, since I find the neuroscience fascinating, and also because I think my brain has slowly been turning to mush since I graduated from college. I went to the website, www.fitbrains.com and found that it is sort of the brain child of this guy (who happens to be a clinical neuropsychologist) and the folks at Vivity Labs. Very cool! So anyway, I played one of their games early this morning that sort of tests one's strongest/weakest areas. I did pretty well, but there was room for improvement. So I played several of the site's games throughout the day. Then played the first game again to see how much worse it was (I always feel totally drained by the end of my shift), but each of my scores had actually improved. How is this possible?! I am not completely sure, but I think I'm going to keep visiting Fit Brains. Maybe every day for the rest of my life. Hope you'll check it out! P.S. I wanted to mention that I took a class on Memory and Cognition in college, and I'm certainly no expert, but based on what I've learned, it totally makes sense that these games help!

2011-04-09T12:26:00.003-04:00

I've been posting some fairly serious stuff lately, so I thought it might be good to write something lighthearted.

I've been trying to re-arrange my room to make more space...I plan on putting my dresser in the closet, then hanging curtains rather than those sliding doors, painting the walls, etc. So anyway, the first step is cleaning out my closet, which is always fun and full of nostalgia.

Last weekend, I took the doors off of my closet and set to work clearing it out. I found lots of fabric and craft stuff (much of which I was able to get rid of), along with old pictures, a basket full of beanie babies (which my dog immediately jumped into, as if she had struck gold), and a little treasure from 4th grade.

We were all required to write a story, with illustrations, for language arts, and then they were professionally bound. Mine is called "Leg ends" (it is actually legends, but there is an abnormally wide space between leg and ends on the cover), and it is a collection of 3 original legends.

One, entitled "why the cat has yellow eyes," is about a kitten named Bailey who gets thrown into a fire at the "Cat's Council" meeting, and rather than getting burned alive, gets yellow eyes.

The second is about a a girl trying to find her place in her tribe who finds out that she is destined to be a "Shawman" (hahahahaha...my spelling was so bad).

The last is about a girl named "Sunshine" who finds a magic sun stone, and saves the animals in the forest from a wedding that would have left trash everywhere and destroyed their habitat.

Almost better than the stories themselves were the illustrations...I was such a procrastinator and I know they were the product of about an hour of work. The best, by far, was this gem... I'm tempted to have a caption contest, haha! Enjoy, and have a great weekend :-)

5/14/2010

2011-04-04T14:32:00.000-04:00

This has been a hard day. In fact, the past week or so has been particularly rough, and reading back through some things I'd written in the past actually brought some encouragement to press on... This is something from 5/14/2010: I have been called as a servant. That is my purpose in this life, and I believe, the life to come. In the eyes of the world, I will never be a success. I will always be plain, perhaps viewed as simple and uninteresting. But my hope is that God will not cease working in me until I am perfected to His likeness, who was the "suffering servant," that one day I may be beautiful in His sight. Standing, walking, sitting, kneeling, on my hands and knees...to serve in any way necessary, this is my lot in life. I will joyfully accept my commission, and be content to live under whatever circumstances I find myself. Laying down my own desires...daily, moment by moment...Not being discouraged by the temptations, pitfalls, obstacles, ridicule, and attack that I may face as I choose to follow my God. I may be seen as a failure in the eyes of the world, but what joy, what honor will there be if, when I reach the home He is preparing for those who love Him, He says to me "well done, good and faithful servant." May I always hear His whispers, "take heart, trust me, and all will be well." may I be strengthened and not overwhelmed by the busy-ness of this life. May I learn to rest in His peace, and surrender fully to His plans and purposes.

My God: All-Sufficient.

2011-03-25T12:36:00.002-04:00

God is changing my heart and renewing my mind. I know He is. I'm going to be really vulnerable and tell you that I've been struggling ALOT with this stage in my life. I've often felt alone, and annoyed with my circumstances in life. Most of my friends are married and starting families of their own, while the last time I was any sort of "relationship" was almost 10 years ago (I use the term relationship loosely; I was in high school, and I was dumb). I've felt limited by so many things. I've sacrificed MUCH for the sake of others, and I've felt that those sacrifices have gone under appreciated or unnoticed (which, the more I think about it, I am glad for). I've felt (and this may be sound foolish, but I'm just being honest about how I've felt) that my personality-quiet and withdrawn-makes some people think that I am mentally retarded. I've often wanted to ask God "Why have you made me this way? Why am I even here at this point in my life?"

But I haven't. I have ignored those questions, ignored my pain and self-concern, when going before God in prayer. In the things I've been reading, sermons I've been listening to, and even worship songs, I've heard the still small voice of the Holy Spirit saying "Maybe you don't have what you haven't asked for." and "I am ALL sufficient. I am ALL you need." and "These thoughts you're having are self-centered. YOU are being self-centered. Until you focus on ME, you will be miserable." and "You can rejoice in ME always" and "pray unceasingly. Seek ME, MY will, in EVERYTHING."

My eyes are filled with tears just thinking about the fact that God hasn't given up on me-that He still speaks, and that He isn't finished with this wreck yet. I've resolved to "ask God for everything." For peace, contentedness, that I would learn to find all sufficiency in Him, for the strength of will to lay aside my own desires for those of His heart...For His compassion to replace my apathy. If I have a long day at work and no time for lunch, that whatever He provides will be enough. If I'm feeling lonely, that He would bring me an acute awareness of His presence. I'm not doing ANYTHING on my own anymore. Those things I thought I could handle on my own? Those little itty bitty things that I thought weren't important enough to bother God about? Yeah, I'm not strong enough to handle them by myself. I'm asking my God, who is all-sufficient, for EVERYTHING!

(I've said it before, but just wanted to say again that this sort of post is mainly for my own benefit-writing out my thoughts about what God is teaching me really helps cement them, and if I forget, I'll have a record to look back at as a reminder. They might even only make sense to me, but I post them just in case anyone else could benefit from my failures/His triumphs.)

Simplicity.

2011-03-18T10:36:00.002-04:00

I may have posted about this before, but awhile back (3-4 years ago) when a friend and I were writing a Bible study about the Spiritual Disciplines for the youth group girls, I was pointed to a book called Celebration of Discipline by Richard Foster. It is absolutely one of my favorite reads (SO practical!!), and I thought I had lost my copy, but I found it yesterday while doing some re-arranging. Of course, I'm reading it again now. But inside, I found some notes I had taken from it to incorporate into our study. The chapter on the discipline of simplicity was particularly striking, and certainly changed my outlook on a number of day to day decisions. Thought I'd take a minute and share the 10 points Dr. Foster emphasized regarding the discipline of Simplicity (the brackets are new notes, not from preparing for the study):

1. Buy for usefulness not prestige.

2. Reject anything that produces addiction in you. [An example: if you are addicted to buying new clothes, don't subscribe to fashion mags that make you want to go on a shopping spree in anticipation of next season's trends]

3. Develop a habit of giving things away. [Maybe this means instead of saving/storing the stuff you don't really need-or having a garage sale*-give those things to friends who may need them, or donate them to a non-profit organization]

4. Refuse to be propagandized (is that really a word?!) by the custodian of modern gadgetry. [In other words, if you have a laptop already, do you really need that new iPad?...Maybe you are the sort of person who genuinely does, and that's okay, but the decision to make such an investment should be carefully thought out and reflect good stewardship of the resources which have been entrusted to you.]

5. Learn to enjoy things without owning them. [Books are a great example. If there is something you'd like to read, why not borrow it from the library or a friend before deciding to buy a copy for your personal collection?]

6. Develop a deeper appreciation for creation. [Foster encourages walking whenever possible, taking time to listen to the songs of the birds, enjoy the texture of the grass and leaves, etc.]

7. Beware of "Buy now, pay laters." [they make it SUPER easy to accumulate more than you really need, especially DEBT!]

8. Let your yes be yes, and your no be no. [If you agree to do something, do it. Avoid flattery and half-truths, speculation and propaganda.]

9. Reject anything that will breed the oppression of others. [As overwhelming as it can seem, we should really research the companies we buy things from: if we KNOW that shirt was made in a sweatshop, buying it anyway condones -and supports, even- that oppression]

10. Reject whatever distracts from your main goal. [This could be anything. I'm really trying to examine my life and eliminate those things that distract me from knowing God more intimately, and following His leading.]

A few things.

2011-03-17T09:09:00.002-04:00

*This is shaping up to be a fun day at work. It's fairly quiet, and my co-worker just announced to everyone that the computer gave her the finger. We all started laughing hysterically. "What a witty way to say that her computer isn't working!" we thought. English is her second language, and she didn't actually mean that her computer was "giving her the finger" as we took it, so she didn't understand why we were laughing. She came over to my desk and asked me "why is it funny what I said?" and after I explained (not realizing that there was any misunderstanding) that it was just a funny way to think about it, she asked "is it funny that my computer's giving me the finger?" "Well, it's not funny that you're computer isn't working, but it's a clever way to say it." "okay." Another co-worker says "It's just funny to think about the computer giving you the middle finger." And she replies "but, it wasn't the middle finger. It was this one..." It was a thumbs up, but she forgot the word for thumb momentarily. Awesome. I'm still laughing about this right now. And I'm going to start using that when I send emails to our IT guy about my computer not working properly. "Paul, my computer's giving me the finger. again."

*Things have seemed really busy lately. But a good busy. That's how I like it to be. Our church is going through a neat growth period, with the start of new ministries, and new faces; it's been so cool to see God work, and see Him in my brothers and sisters. We had JJ and Dave Heller come play a concert, and it was SO great-I love her music, and it is even better live! Not only that, but it was a blessing to see God use the talents and gifts of those who made the concert happen.

*I'm starting a Date Night childcare ministry. Free babysitting one evening per month. Dating is so important for a marriage...if a couple isn't spending time together, no wonder they end up saying "I don't even know you anymore!" I'm praying God uses this to strengthen marriages for His glory, and to help the kids build Christ-centered friendships! The first event is this Saturday, and I'm really excited about it. I think it's going to be a fun time for everyone!

*The recent disaster in Japan has me: thankful to live where I do, praying for the Japanese, realizing that we [humans] are much less powerful than we think, realizing that God (who made the Universe, of which earth is a very small part) is bigger and much more powerful than we sometimes think, thinking about how soon these huge events will be history, and trying to live each day mindful of the fact that tomorrow is not promised to anyone.

2011-03-05T13:34:00.003-05:00

Mmm...I just finished eating lunch with a few of my co-workers. We had an impromptu potluck this afternoon to celebrate the end of a long week. I brought chicken and vegetables (a whole chicken slow-cooked in butter and Cabernet with onions, garlic, celery, carrots, and potatoes). We also had vegetables with dip, and some delicious cookies.

I love cooking for people, serving, and making sure everyone has what they need. I guess I didn't have a choice in it, though, with one side of the family being Indian, and the other being from the southern US. I do get nervous about whether what I cook will taste just right, or if it will be something everyone likes. I'm SUPER critical of myself. But things usually turn out alright and I still have fun cooking :-) I guess it's going to be a potlucky weekend-there's one at church tomorrow too!

Yesterday, I decided to write a "day in the life of Nafisa" I recorded everything that happened from the minute I woke up to when I got off work at 4pm. That includes a description of each call/chat/email I answered, and after reading back over it (don't worry, I'm not going to post it here), I feel completely justified in being exhausted when I get home. This week has been so crazy at work! I'm sure everyone else is right there with me in celebrating the end of the work week. Hope you all have a great weekend, and that it brings much rest in preparation for whatever next week holds!

Drawing Prizes!

2011-03-05T00:00:00.000-05:00

Here are the prizes from the drawing. Jewelry for all!

A necklace for Amy:

Earrings for Nikki:

A bracelet for Angie:

A bracelet for Stephanie:

Earrings for April:

(Sorry for the poor lighting!)

Hope you ladies enjoy :-)

Where Children Sleep.

2011-02-25T13:33:00.002-05:00

I came across this link while reading Design Mom this morning (I came across that blog-I don't even remember how- a few weeks ago, and I love it!), and just finished reading through the book Where Children Sleep by James Mollison. Take a look for a healthy dose of perspective.

I found myself smiling as I read about a child who didn't like school much, then on the verge of tears on the next as I read about a child who aspired to be a doctor, but was barely able to get an education. If you get a chance to read it, let me know what you think!

Recipes that Make My Life Easier (6)

2011-02-22T08:43:00.002-05:00

This is one of my favorite recipes ever. It's my grandma's (Mamaw) recipe. Remember the mac and cheese? That grandma :-). I made it for our fellowship/study group last night, and we devoured the whole thing...so it MUST be good. Without further adieu...

Mamaw's Pot Roast

You will need:
-a 6-6.5 qt. crock pot
-5 lb beef or venison roast (I prefer shoulder roast)
-2 lbs potatoes, quartered (I like to use small redskins)
-2 large onions, chopped
-1 lb baby carrots
-2 Tsp minced garlic

Crock pot cooking is so easy that you barely need a description, but just in case... the first thing you'll want to do is turn the crock pot ON (I do it first so that I won't forget later). This is how I layer the ingredients: 1/2 of the onions mixed with 1/2 of the garlic and half of the carrots, then the roast (cover roast with remaining garlic), then the remaining onions and carrots, and finally cover with potatoes. Cook on high for 8-9 hours.

what's so great about crock pot cooking is that the time investment is minimal-it only took about 15 minutes to prepare everything, and dinner is ready when you get home from work!

Usually, I use venison that we are given from family members who hunt, but yesterday I used beef that I got from Kroger. Obviously, meat prices differ from area to area, and even then the sales will vary, but it cost me about $12 for the meat about $5 for the other ingredients. There were 9 of us that ate at the study last night, and we totally devoured this dish, so if you want leftovers, I would say recipe this feeds 6-8. That's $2.12-2.83 per plate-not too bad :-) ...but, it could be even better if you know someone who hunts ;-)

Death, Life, etc.

2011-02-14T13:52:00.002-05:00

Yesterday was a beautiful day, and I was SO happy-it was 50 degrees outside, the snow was rapidly melting, I spent the morning/early afternoon at church, and was able to stop at JoAnn's to pick up a few things before heading home to relax for the evening.

While I was at JoAnn's, I thought I recognized someone I know, but within seconds the realization hit me: that was completely impossible. That person had gone home to be with the Lord some time ago.

This has been happening quite often-the losses catch up with me. For a second, shock comes over me-as if I were hearing the death announced for the first time, then an overwhelming sense of sadness, and perhaps a few tears. I don't know-maybe I'm just slow at dealing with things like death.

I'm reminded that life is short. Today might be my last day as a vessel of God's love, of His Truth, to this lost & dying world. If not mine, somebody else's-that's for SURE. And I've been asking myself things like "would you be satisfied with how you have lived if today is your last day?" and "Of the things that happen today, what is going to matter in eternity?"

Those are tough questions. But asking them has helped me to choose my battles. Are the little annoyances going to matter in eternity? oh, they aren't?...but my reaction to them might? Then I won't let them get to me. When I am before the judgement seat, will He be more pleased if I have stood in judgement of others, or if I have gently come alongside them to point them to Truth? Is what he/she thought or said about me going to have any impact at all on God's (Omniscient, by the way) point of view? No. Then I won't be bothered by them.

There is a way of life that is clearly better. I'm trying to live it, so that when my time is up, I might hear the words "Well done." from the only Person whose opinion is valuable to me.

{this is probably not what one would expect on Valentine's Day. I honestly had forgotten about V-day until just now. sorry if this brought you down!}

And the Winner is...

2011-02-12T12:39:00.002-05:00

Remember how in this post, I mentioned that giving gifts was one of my favorite things to do, and how it makes me happier than any gift I could possibly receive?

Well, that's true. So I've decided that the winner is EVERYONE. Amy, Angie, Stephanie, April, and Nikki: each of you will be the recipients of a handmade gift made specifically for YOU! It may take about a month for me to finish everything, but when I do, I promise to take pictures and post them here for everyone to see (after they have been given to the recipients, of course :-) )

Thanks, again, for reading!!

Oh, and just FYI, if there are more drawings in the future and you were a winner here, you can enter again. I'm all about grace, and might just end up making everyone a winner again ;-)

I've replied to each of the comments on the 200! post, by the way, so if you left a comment go check it out :-)

Oh yeah, and...

2011-02-09T09:55:00.002-05:00

Julian Smith's videos are also a new favorite of mine. So funny! You should watch this and this. You won't be sorry. Well, maybe you will. But I wasn't.

P.S. don't forget to enter the drawing from this post! So far, there haven't been any real entries, so you have a great shot at winning!! Ends this Friday, 2/11/2011!

Some New Favorites.

2011-02-09T08:39:00.004-05:00

This (well, something very like it) has become my hair's best friend during the winter (when I can't let it air dry-and don't have the patience to use a diffuser with my hair dryer- because it takes too long and will turn to ice the minute I walk outside)...and because I haven't had my hair cut since early December, 2009. How come I never knew this trick for hiding split ends?! I'm so glad I know, now :-)I found these Long Kow Crystal Noodle Soups at Meijer a few weeks ago. SO good!! They were on closeout, and I haven't been able to find them anywhere else :-( I guess I will have to try an Asian grocery store next.
This weather has got me DYING to go on a cruise! I have never been before, so technically, I can't call it a favorite, but I imagine it would be...With my income tax refund coming soon, maybe I'll find out? (though I must admit, my first thought about what to do with my refund was "YES! I can put it ALL in savings!" How in the world did I get to the place where life insurance and savings accounts are exciting?!)

Tall Bold coffee, OR Vanilla Rooibos tea latte- no syrup, 2 splenda, skim milk- please. :-)
These have become my favorite lunch! I love, love, love udon noodles, and Annie Chun seems to have perfected the freeze-dried vegetable thing, because the onions, mushrooms, and (I don't remember what else is in this one) taste so fresh!

P.S. don't forget to enter the drawing from this post! So far, there haven't been any real entries, so you have a great shot at winning!! Ends this Friday, 2/11/2011!

200!

2011-01-27T21:26:00.003-05:00

This is my 200th post-which seems a little lame because I have been using this blog since 1/21/2006. Those who have been reading since then probably have better insight into my life than I do. You have seen my ups and downs, some of my failures, some of my "successes," and have chosen to hear my story. You will probably have no idea how much it encourages me that there are people who read this. I am a quiet person, in social situations I would much rather listen and observe than speak or be asked to share my thoughts/opinions. Sometimes I feel that people think I don't have them (in truth, I feel that I have so much more to learn than to teach in conversation), but my mind is not hollow. By reading, you're letting me share my story. My thoughts. My opinions (right or wrong). Just by reading what I've written above, you've given me a minute of your time. And I am SO appreciative.

In honor of the 200th post, I've just decided to post a list of 200 random things. The last one might be important ;-)

1. Sometimes, my life feels a little monotonous, but one thing I will never get tired of is coming home, starting to unlock the door and hearing whimpering at the door. You'd think it was because she was in a hurry to get outside, but you'd be wrong. When the door opens, I see the cutest little dog wagging her tail and jumping up to greet me, pushing my shins with her tiny front paws, as if she hasn't seen me in AGES. Even if I've only been outside for a few minutes.

2. I have become WAY too dependent on my cell phone. I forgot it one day recently (for the first time in 5 years), and kept having mini anxiety attacks.

3. I like to knit. But I only do it if I find a pattern I REALLY love, or if it's for a good cause (like making baby hats to donate to my local pregnancy center. By the way, if you want to find a center in YOUR area where you might be able to make donations of baby items like that-or even things like diapers, formula, and clothing- let me know! It really helps new parents who might not otherwise be able to get these much needed items.).

4. During winter, I often pass the downtime at work by looking up cruises and making itineraries for other warm vacations. I've never even really seen the ocean, but one day... :-)

5. One of my cousins has a classmate with the last name "Butts." (Fortunately, first name was NOT "Seymour") When I was looking at their yearbook and learned this, I couldn't stop laughing. My cousin, who is about 15 years younger than I am, just sat there looking at me, clearly thinking how inappropriate it was to laugh at a person's name. REAL mature, Nafisa. Real. Mature.

6. I'm a Yankees fan. I try to keep that quiet because emotions tend to run high (you either REALLY love 'em, REALLY hate 'em, or don't watch baseball), so don't tell anyone. But I won't lie. I like to support teams that have a history of winning. ;-)

7. When I was in Kindergarten, we were all assigned third grade buddies. I was the only girl who got stuck with a boy, and I would always cry on the days we had to spend time with them. Poor, poor Colin! I hope that didn't seriously damage his self-esteem...

8. Finding out that Will Ferrell is going to be a guest in a few episodes of The Office was pretty much the highlight of my week.

9. My baby brother turns 22 in 2 weeks, and graduates from College in a little over 3 months. How did that happen?!

10.If I lived in the days of old, I think that I'd rather have been a peasant than a princess. I like simplicity, and working with my hands, and serving others. Those things TRULY make me happy..On the other hand, I do love pretty dresses. hmm...

11. I quit wearing jewelry for a long time, but a few months ago I re-discovered the fun of it. I'm on the look-out for really cute dangle earrings :-)

12. I tried sushi (real sushi, not california rolls-I was never afraid to try those :-) ) for the first time last summer, and it's now one of my favorite foods!

13. There are things that happened when I was growing up that I have never talked to anyone about for fear of damaging the reputation of those involved. Some days, there's nothing I want more than to talk about those things, but it's not the type of thing that comes up in every day conversation. And even if it did, I'm not sure I would.

14. As a result of the those things mentioned above, humor was my major defense mechanism/coping technique...more for my brother's sake than mine, I think. For most of my life, I would only watch funny and/or feel-good movies or TV shows... Only in the last 4-5 years have I branched out a little :-) As evidence...

15. Lie to Me is currently my favorite TV show.

16. Did you know that moles have eyes? They're just very tiny. So it looks like they don't have eyes.

17. A few weeks ago, I saw a church sign that read "Christians must remember our mission is fishin'"

18. I have never been on a date. And I'm ok with that.

19. I'm at work right now, and it's snowing. I'm thankful for a warm office and a seat that is far from the window.

20. I am very much a creature of habit; every time I log in to my computer at work (after I am logged into my work stuff, of course), I check my email, facebook, just for fun blogs, and friends' blogs. In that order. Save the best for last, right? :-)

21. I wish people who disagree with each other would engage in civil dialogue without name-calling or propaganda (or using the word "propaganda"). I don't mean without passion, but with a sense of respect for the person they are speaking to/about. Wouldn't that be nice?

22. Babies go to Congress is a really cool "event" that Heartbeat International does every year. A group, including families who have received help through a Heartbeat pregnancy center, visits Washington D.C. to meet with members of congress. The families share their stories in order to demonstrate that pregnancy centers are good for America. I was really touched when I saw/read about the experience.

23. I bought a pasta boat at Giant Eagle a few weeks ago and finally tried it out. I am impressed and so glad I bought it! Of course, I love anything that makes my life easier :-)

24. When I'm feeling discouraged or just don't understand the why of things, it comforts me that "... The Everlasting God, the LORD, the Creator of the ends of the earth does not become weary or tired. His understanding is inscrutable. " (Isaiah 40:28)

25. I really like giving gifts...Christmas/Birthday shopping for my family makes me happier than any gift I could possibly receive.

26.Yeah, I was just kidding about making a list of 200 random things. That would be ridiculous. Good for you for reading this far, though ;-)

200. To say thanks, I would like to offer a 2 of you (if there are that many) a chance to receive a special gift from me (could be anything from handmade clothing/accessories/stationary to something store-bought, but also thoughtful). It will be a surprise! To enter to win, just leave a comment on this post by 2/11/2011! (I'm not sure if anyone reads this who is outside of the US, but just in case, because of the cost of shipping, I can only offer a handmade item to those within the US. If you are outside of the US and want to enter, no problem. But... you will probably just receive handwritten thank-you note :-) )

Oh, Netflix.

2011-01-18T10:55:00.004-05:00

Soo..getting Netflix was my Christmas gift to myself. Now I'm not sure if it was such a good idea. I've watched all 3 seasons of Arrested Development, the first 2 seasons of Bones, 4 seasons of Doc Martin (it's a UK show that I really like), various episodes of the Office, 2 episodes of All Creatures Great and Small (a BBC series from the late 70s/80s that I LOVE), Babies (the documentary-sort-of that came out last year, I really liked it), Restrepo (a documentary that follows a platoon through a year-long tour in Afghanistan. I haven't finished watching it yet, it's VERY good, but I just have a hard time watching things like that), a few episodes of Anthony Bourdain's No Reservations (I love travel shows!), and probably a few things that I am forgetting.

I'm fairly certain that my brain is turning to mush.

I been reading, too, though. For "College & What Not," we are in C.S. Lewis' Mere Christianity. I've been reading Tolstoy's Anna Karenina, and I've been in Galatians for my quiet time. I guess all is not lost :-) But seriously, I need to stop watching so much TV.

New Year!

2011-01-06T09:00:00.002-05:00

I had three goals in 2010: to make permanent lifestyle changes in regards to diet and exercise (I was consistent for about 6 months, then got lazy...the good news is that I haven't re-gained ALL of the weight I lost), pay off all of my debt (I didn't make it in 2010, but by March of this year, I will be debt free), and improve my attitude in ministry at work (by the end of 2010, I was extremely burnt out, discouraged, and frustrated...)

In essence, I failed at every goal I had for last year. I'm okay with that, because guess what? This is a new year.

I can't believe it is 2011 already, but I'm so thankful for another year to grow in the grace and knowledge of my Savior. Lord knows, I have so much to learn! This year might be the best yet. I have no idea what it holds, but I am more determined than ever to follow hard after God, to do what He has called me to do, and become who He has called me to be.

I've also started working out again (I've been pretty lazy about it since I got bit by that dog on my last walk of 2010) and that has had a huge impact on my attitude. I feel so much better when I am taking care of myself, physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually.

During our Wednesday evening service at church this week, I was particularly struck by 1 Corinthians 15:58, which says "Therefore, my beloved brethren, be steadfast, immovable, always abounding in the work of the Lord, knowing that your toil is not in vain in the Lord." Our pastor talked about how we might not see the fruit of our labor (that might be for the generation to come), but we are to be faithful in service, doing His work diligently. Our work is not in vain in the Lord. MY work is not in vain in the Lord. That was exactly what I needed to hear-the refreshment my soul needed to keep doing what I do at work. I can't tell you how different I feel today than I did yesterday; for the first time in MONTHS I feel like myself again. And this year, my work-related goal is just going to be to remember that my toil is NOT in vain.

I can't wait to see what this year will hold-good or "bad"(we know that God causes all things to work together for good, for those who love Him and are called according to His purposes), excitement or monotony, it's all for His glory.

Thanks for reading, friends. And I hope this year holds MANY blessings for each of you :-)

Christmas Family Fun.

2010-12-28T09:08:00.005-05:00

I hope you all had a wonderful time celebrating the birth of the Savior; I know I did. I've written about this before, I know, but time with my family (immediate AND extended) is so absolutely precious to me. I feel so incredibly blessed to have been born into a loving, fun family! Just thought I'd post some highlights from the Christmas week:

-Having my kid brother home (he goes to college in Texas, and I hadn't seen him in almost 6 months!). There are always lots of laughs and reminiscing about our childhood.

-Exchanging gifts throughout the week (because we just couldn't wait) and not having anything to open on Christmas day :-)

-All of the gospel choir practices (...not only is it fun to spend time with my spiritual family, but at the end, it's as if we had all worked together to build something :-) ) leading up to the Christmas Eve service at LBC, which got me focused on....

-The love of God, which prompted Him (the creator of the entire UNIVERSE) to come into this world, as an infant (can you imagine the humility that took?!) for your sake, and for mine...

-Going out to a peaceful lunch with my brother and both of my parents. This is sort of a big deal, because my parents have been separated for almost a decade, and aren't generally able to be in each other's presence without getting angry. But we had one peaceful lunch, all of us together. Unheard of!

-Spending Thursday evening shopping, much to the dismay of my dad and brother. At least one of us had a good time ;-)

-Trying to get everyone to watch my favorite Christmas movies with me (Elf, Home Alone, Christmas Vacation, etc.) but failing. We watched How to Train Your Dragon instead, which I guess was pretty good.

-Having two Christmas dinners-one with Aunt P (my grandpa's sister), Uncle B & family. We have spent most Christmases/thanksgivings in the past 8 or 9 years with this part of the fam, and it's always a great time. If you know these people (and Aunt P's cooking), you know what a blessing it is to spend time with them (and share a meal :-) ).

-The other was at Uncle C (mom's brother) and Aunt L's. My grandparents came in from West Virginia. They usually come after Christmas (it was a real treat to see them on Christmas day!), but since my bro and one of my cousins were only going to be in town for the week, they decided to come early. Fish stories were told, papaw talked about pranks he played on his younger brothers, and there was a HILARIOUS discussion about the pictures on Ali's(my bro) facebook page...

You see, papaw's on fb, and he had apparently been looking at Ali's fb pictures and wanted to know who this girl was in some of his pictures. I guess, firstly, you should know that Ali is going to college at a Seminary, and intends to become a pastor. He does not have a girlfriend, and didn't remember the photos papaw was talking about... So, papaw tried to describe them:

"You were wearing an orange shirt that said 'squeezer' and she was wearing one that said 'squeezee.' I guess that means you were the squeezer!"

*insert laughter*

Me: "I think he's talking about the shirts you guys made for orientation?"

Ali: "oh, yeah! They said Main Squeeze, NOT Squeezee!!"

Papaw continued to insist that Ali was the squeezer, but, as you can see.... :-p

Then, there was discussion of Ali's Halloween costume. You see, he has this great sense of humor... See?

So, on Christmas, this is how the conversation went:

Mom: "Did you see Ali's halloween costume?"

Papaw: "Yeah, he was a homeless guy. And you know what his sign said? It said 'WILL WORK FOR SEX!'"

*Everyone gasps, Ali puts his hands over his face, and those of us who know what it actually said start laughing uncontrollably*

"Boy, seminary sure has changed, huh?"

Ali: "That's. not. what. it. said." while trying to control his laughter.

Mom: "Dad, it said "Will make-out for food!" !!!!"

Papaw: "oh, well, I knew it said something like that."

I'm laughing while I write this...Fun times, I tell ya. Fun. Times.

New Recipe! (just in time for New Year's Eve)

2010-12-28T09:00:00.000-05:00

So, this isn't really one that makes my life easier, per se, but it is tasty, and I think I will be using it again. I made these yummy snacks for church a few weeks ago. (For anyone reading this who may not know, my mom and I serve refreshments before/after service on Wednesdays evenings)

(Not sure what to call them)

Ingredients:
2 tubes crescent roll dough
1-8oz package cream cheese (softened)
Diced Jalapenos or Chiles (I used a 4oz can of green chiles, but the original recipe called for fresh diced jalapenos)

Unroll dough, and seal the perforations. Spread a thin layer of cream cheese over the dough, then top with chiles/jalapenos. Roll dough into a cylinder (as if you were making pinwheel cookies), and cut into about 1/4 in. slices. Place on ungreased cookie sheet and bake at 400* for 8-10 minutes.

I haven't tried other "toppings" yet, but I imagine things (like bacon crumbles, shredded cheese, pepperoni, onions, etc.) might also be good :-)

A Few of My Favorite Things.

2010-12-22T08:42:00.003-05:00

These are a few of my favorite things:

1. Fun times with friends and family.

2. Trips to West Virginia in the Spring/Summer.

3. Learning.

4. Helping people.

5. God's displays of love, power, grace, and creativity through His people and in His creation.

6. Cooking.

7. Taking LONG walks in the fall/spring.

8. Vanilla Rooibos tea latte w/ splenda and skim milk, from Starbucks.

9. Watching shows on Hulu. I've watched episodes of old tv shows like Green Acres, Bewitched, Mary Tyler Moore, Bob Newhart, and Who's the Boss? lately. Also newer shows, like the Office, Outsourced, House, Lie to Me, the Good Guys, Raising Hope, Hell's Kitchen, Extreme Makeover: Home Edition, and What Would You Do? It's so much better than watching them on the television!

10. Slow, quiet days at work.

11. Watching children play, care-free and happily. It makes me smile :-)

12. Traveling. I love to see new places, experience new things, meet new people.

13. Reading. Right now, I am reading Tolstoy's Anna Karenina.

That's all for now, I'm going to go watch this again.

2010-12-14T15:25:00.004-05:00

I think I've mentioned it before, but when I was a young teenager, I would often have trouble sleeping. I would hear noises (that had I thought more critically about, would have realized were the appliances or the wind, or something normal like that) and instantly be afraid that an intruder was in the house. I would lay, paralyzed, in my bed trying to reason with myself, but it didn't help. I knew the noises were nothing to be worried about...we have always had dogs, too, who would have gone crazy if there actually had been an intruder. I knew that they were sleeping soundly, not bothered by the clamour that I was hearing, yet I continued to worry. There were some nights that I could get rest, but most nights, I didn't fall asleep until the fear had completely exhausted me.

I had been a believer for probably around 2 years, only truly following Christ for 1 year, and even though I was secure in Him...that God causes all things to work together for good to those who love Him and are called according to His purposes, that nothing could separate me from His love... I held on to this irrational fear.

Until I came across Psalm 4. The last verse (8) in particular struck me, and instantly became one of my life verses. It is a psalm of David, who as you may know, often had reason to be distressed. Here's what it says:

Answer me when I call, O God of my righteousness!
You have relieved me in my distress;
Be gracious to me and hear my prayer.
O sons of men, how long will my honor become a reproach?
How long will you love what is worthless and aim at deception?

Selah.
But know that the LORD has set apart the godly man for Himself;
The LORD hears when I call to Him.

Tremble, and do not sin;
Meditate in your heart upon your bed, and be still.

Selah.
Offer the sacrifices of righteousness,
And trust in the LORD.

Many are saying, “Who will show us any good?”
Lift up the light of Your countenance upon us, O LORD!

You have put gladness in my heart,
More than when their grain and new wine abound.

In peace I will both lie down and sleep,
For You alone, O LORD, make me to dwell in safety.

I remember the night I finally let the power/strength/comfort of God overcome my anxiety. I was at my grandparent's during summer vacation, and I had fallen asleep, but was startled by a really loud sound. I looked up, and the bedroom door had been shut (we never shut that door, though), then closed my eyes again...I was too afraid to open them, because I was sure there was someone in the room. My (younger) cousin (who has autism) was sharing the bed with me, so concern for her safety won out and I opened my eyes. Turned my head, just slightly, back and forth, and noticed that the coats which were hanging on the door had fallen down. I thought "maybe that's what happened?" and got up enough nerve to sit up. Everything was fine, nothing to be afraid of. But my heart was still racing, and even after I picked up the coats and opened the door, I couldn't shake the fear. As was my habit, I tried reasoning with myself, but it didn't work. Then Psalm 4:8 was brought to my mind, and I could think of nothing else. So I let go of the fear. It was like that verse was a song, a lullaby even, playing repeatedly until I fell asleep.

It has been so long that I had almost forgotten what it felt like to be gripped by fear, but the other night I heard some noises (it sounded like something was hitting the house) and I felt for a moment that terror which had formerly plagued me. Reason worked, this time, and trusting God with my safety ultimately allowed me to lie down in peace, and sleep :-)

Memories & the Skyline.

2010-12-14T08:26:00.002-05:00

[Before (or after, whatever :-)) reading this, do a google image search for "Columbus skyline" since I don't have a picture to post here for you :-p]

As my mom and I were heading to a memorial service on the West side of Columbus last week, I experienced something quite unexpected.
You see, when I was going to Ohio State, I saw the Columbus skyline every day. It was just another one of those things that I passed by, and never really thought about. It might as well have been a mailbox, or a streetlight. I took it completely for granted. Since graduation, I think this was only the second time I've been anywhere near downtown, and maybe that's why it evoked such a strange and complex flood of emotion. As the Nationwide building, LeVeque tower, Rhodes tower, the AEP building, Motorists building, etc. came into view, I was overwhelmed by the beauty of the skyline and suddenly tears started rolling down my cheeks, and the memories began to overflow.

Going to Stanton's to pick out music for Solo & Ensemble competition in High School.

Taking blankets, coffee, and sack lunches for the homeless/needy(who we actually searched for, with little success, before joining a group from another church that was serving food, and giving away clothing, outside of Faith Mission) with a group of friends one Sunday afternoon.

Taking the Greyhound with my brother from Columbus to West Virginia one summer.

Riding the COTA Christmas trolley with one of my friends, and our mothers, when I was in elementary school (it had a "fireplace" in the back that we sat close to).

Going to the International Festival at Vet's Memorial (my first taste of green tea...because I'd never tasted anything like it, I thought for sure it was made out of seaweed...ick!).

A host of school field trips: COSI (I went at another time, too, but can't remember if that was with girl scouts, or just a family trip). Franklin Park Conservatory to see the butterfly exhibit. And corn maze. And tropical plants. Columbus Museum of Art. The Ohio Theatre. Tour of the State house.

Going to the ceremony when my dad got his US citizenship. The ceremony itself was pretty boring, but it was a big day for dad :-) I remember him saying something about how expensive the parking was. And I remember being able to see the Santa Maria replica from where we parked. Mom explained to me the significance of the ship, and I said something like "neat-o!"

I remembered all those days and nights passing the city on the way to/from Ohio State.

Funny that I never realized how much I love this city...I guess it's sort of true that "distance makes the heart grow fonder."

Recipes That Make My Life Easier (5)

2010-12-11T14:37:00.002-05:00

This is my grandma's (mamaw) recipe for macaroni and cheese. We usually have this as a main dish instead of a side, so this recipe makes quite a bit (good for potlucks, using throughout the week for lunches, big family gatherings, what have you) It is creamiest, BEST, mac & cheese I've ever tasted, and the ultimate comfort food...Plus it is SO easy to make!! :-)

Mamaw's Mac & Cheese

Ingredients:
-1 box macaroni pasta
-water
-1 can evaporated milk
-1/2 brick Velveeta cheese (or store brand equivalent) cut into cubes
-1/2 c butter
-salt & pepper to taste

Cook pasta according to instructions on box, but do NOT drain pasta. Continue cooking on Med. High heat, adding evaporated milk, cheese, and butter. Stir occasionally until cheese is melted. When desired consistency is reached (the "sauce" may be quite thin at first, and you just have to let it simmer to thicken), remove from heat and serve. Add salt and pepper to taste.

The (un)Glamourous Side of Full Time Ministry.

2010-12-10T14:30:00.003-05:00

Ever been on a short-term mission trip? Then you can probably relate to this feeling. You wake up early in the morning, spend several hours ministering to people or teaching (interspersed with great fellowship with your team, of course) come back to your "base" thoroughly exhausted...Eat, sleep, repeat. For a week or two, until you return home and sleep for no less than 18 hours before returning to your routine.

Well, every time I go to work, it feels like a day on one of those short-term mission trips. I have been contacted by By the time I get home, I am thoroughly exhausted (emotionally, physically, spiritually). And I can't come home and sleep for 18 hours to recover.

This is especially frustrating, because in the morning, there are all these things I look forward to doing after work (for instance, there is a ladies' tea this evening that I was planning on going to), but by the time I get off work, I can barely think straight. Like, I don't even feel like cooking. or shopping. or going to see a show. And I LOVE doing those things!

My voice is almost gone. My head aches. I've been confined to approximately 12 sq ft. of office space for the past 8 hours.

That said, I have had the opportunity to make a difference in over 150 lives already today, and my shift is not quite over yet. I love what I do.

"Long" Time, No Post.

2010-11-30T08:41:00.002-05:00

It's been about two weeks since my last post, so I thought I'd at least give an explanation for my silence: I just haven't felt like writing anything. I'm sort of in the midst of a fog of sorrow (due to a combination of things-loss, terrible things that have happened in the world lately, poor-REALLY poor-choices being made by people who God loves so deeply, my own failures, family issues, and general frustration about my situation in life at this point....I KNOW that God works all things for good, and that this season will soon be over) and until it clears a little, I'll be faking smiles and I probably won't be posting much. The good news is that I have met my goal of at least 52 posts this year! I won't feel bad if I don't post anything until January, but hopefully I'll be back before then :-)

Hope you all are having a wonderful holiday season, and are able to enjoy precious time with your families. I'm praying that this month brings to us all a renewed appreciation for the humility of Christ's sacrifice...the Creator of the Universe who knew us before we were born, who-in order to pay the penalty for OUR sins-took on flesh, came to earth as an infant, grew to be a man, and endured to cross for YOUR sake, for MY sake...

Another Strange Dream.

2010-11-17T08:32:00.002-05:00

Last night I had a strange dream. I rarely dream about being in school, but when I do, I get SO anxious!

At the beginning, I was on a college campus trying to find my classes; apparently, there were a few classes I needed for my degree that I hadn't taken yet (calculus, and two psych classes), so I decided to go back to college. I went to the first and second classes, and they seemed just like my other psych classes, so I wasn't worried about them. The calculus class seemed to be okay, too. The TAs seemed more than helpful (I never went to an actual lecture), but I was getting really annoyed with the other students, so at some point I decided not to go to class anymore. It got to the point where I had forgotten that I was even enrolled, and 8 weeks into the quarter I realized that I had missed all of the assignments, quizzes, and exams. I never even bought the books! I frantically searched the classrooms (the college campus, by this time, had turned into my high school), and finally found the calculus class I was supposed to be in. I sat through the recitation, completely clueless about what was being taught (I remember there were a bunch of square root symbols all over the board, letters and numbers, an entirely different language to me... and that alone is a nightmare in my book!), then approached the TA to find out how I could get out of taking the class. Then I realized that I never needed to take these classes anyway, and left. All of a sudden, I was leaving an amusement park that had this huge, inflatable slide as an exit. when I got to the road leaving the amusement park, I found that it was in the middle of nowhere. There was no way back in to the park, and at the crossroad, there were no signs telling me what the street names were, or how to get to a main road (this one was a gravel, country road). And everyone that passed by seemed really dangerous.

This is where I woke up.

I'm so tempted to analyze this whole thing based on the different theories of dreaming*, but I'm just going to let this one go :-)

*For example, one theory says that dreams are produced as an explanation of external stimuli [for instance, you are laying in an odd position and your arm goes numb, so you dream that your appendages are disappearing or something crazy like that] while we are asleep. Another says that dreams are for memory consolidation, so maybe you saw a TV show and then have a dream that the same event is happening to you. Others say that dreams are a way for the unconscious desires and thoughts to be played out. Still others say that there is no meaning at all in dreaming. I'm not saying that any of these theories are right, but it is interesting to think about. I also believe that God sometimes chooses to communicate to people through dreams, so we have to be careful how far we go with analyzing them...but it's still interesting to think about :-)

Radical.

2010-11-15T12:15:00.003-05:00

I started reading the book Radical by David Platt last week, and if you are looking for a good butt-kicking, this is THE book for you! It is a challenge to REALLY deny yourself, take up your cross, and follow Him. Reading Radical has changed several aspects of the way I live (for good, I hope), and reinforced some of my own thoughts about how I ought to live, if I want to TRULY follow Christ, sharing His grace, that His glory might be known throughout the world. There is nothing comfortable about this book; I have been convicted about things in my life from almost every page I've read, I've been challenged to a new standard of living and if I choose not to respond, I shudder to think of what I'll miss out on.

Have any of you read this book yet? If so, what did you think? If not...and you are serious about following Christ, I don't think you'll regret doing so :-)

(Not So) Peaceful Walk.

2010-11-10T08:04:00.002-05:00

On Monday morning, I went out for what I thought would be a quiet, peaceful walk. I needed to get refocused, and I'm trying to start working out regularly again, so I decided I would just go at my own pace, and not worry about how quickly I completed the 2.3 miles. About 3 minutes into my walk, I heard some growling, and I thought someone must be walking their dog and getting ready to pass me. I look back, and see this huge dog baring it's teeth and running full speed at me. No owner. No leash. I yelled "woah, woah!!" (I'm laughing at that now...who just yells "woah" when they are being attacked?!), but that didn't stop the animal, who was as tall as my waist, and probably weighed about 130 lbs. I didn't know what to do, so I backed up a little, but the thing lunged at me, clamping it's jaw around my right arm. I don't really know when it let go, but I stumbled out into the road, and it stopped its attack (I'm thinking they might have an invisible fence, or something. Either that, or the dog was just protecting its property). I was so shaken, I had no idea what to do, but I knew that I had absolutely no desire to go near that thing again, so I kept walking-looking back only once to make sure it wasn't following me. Let me tell you, my heart was RACING! I have never been bitten by somebody else's dog before (I've been nipped at by my own dogs, but in a very playful way, not at all like this). It was one of the scariest experiences of my life (I can't even properly explain how enormous this animal was, and the way it looked running at me with those big, sharp teeth!), but once I calmed down a little, I realized how thankful I was...Thankful that I only have a few scratches to show for it (the pressure from its teeth scratched my skin and is leaving a nasty bruise, but did not pierce the fleece jacket I was wearing). Thankful that there were no cars on the road when I stumbled out into it.
Also, thankful for the reminder that this world is NOT a safe place, and the only REAL safety I can ever be offered-my only source of peace and hope-is in my Savior.

Destiny.

2010-11-09T08:13:00.002-05:00

I spent this weekend at my church's annual youth retreat, and I truly think it was one of the best I've ever been to. The theme was "Destiny," and it wasn't just the theme of the teaching. The devotions, the music, the conversations I had, were all about God's unique plan for our lives. Gene Cunningham (of Basic Training Bible Ministries) taught that before any of us were even born, God had a unique plan for our lives-that God has created each of us with unique talents, and uses us in ways that only we could be used. Gene said that "God doesn't just have a plan for the Nathanaels (John 1:43-51), Jeremiahs (Jeremiah 1:4-7), and Pauls (Galatians 1:11-17)..." His plans will be accomplished with or without us (He doesn't need us), but He wants to give us the privilege of being vessels to accomplish those plans, and we have the choice-our will, or His. We have to submit to His will for our lives, deny ourselves, and follow Him if we want to take hold of the destiny he intends for us. "If anyone wishes to come after Me, he must deny himself, and take up his cross and follow me." (Matthew 16:24)

One of the major points I believe God was trying to communicate to me was that of surrendering my own desires-even if the motivation for those desires are good. If I don't surrender my own desires, God may very well give me what I request... Last week, I was reading in 1 Samuel, where the Israelites demand a king. Their desire was good-they wanted a strong nation, they wanted to be able to defend themselves against those who were attacking them, and they wanted to end the corruption that existed among the leaders (Eli's sons, then Samuel's sons). When Samuel prayed about this, the Lord answered "Listen to the voice of the people in regard to all that they say to you, for they have not rejected you, but they have rejected Me from being king over them..."

Heartbreaking, and convicting. If granting my own desires means taking Him off the throne of my life, I don't want them! Just give me Jesus-He is the giver of good things, and as long as I am following & trusting in Him I will never go without.

I have TRULY been blessed.

2010-11-03T08:28:00.003-04:00

My job may not have extremely rich benefits this side of eternity, but one of the greatest blessings I have received by working here is that of spending my day with some of the most godly, compassionate women I know. I have served alongside dozens of such people in the past 5 years, and I cannot even begin to tell you what an honor it has been! It's hard to convey in words what a truly dedicated and faithful group they are, but it should be known that these people make daily sacrifices to serve people they have never met, to share the love of God with men and women who may never have experienced REAL love.

In our office I feel such a great sense of unity, and it is so encouraging to be around such like-minded people. It is a grace-filled environment, and I just had to share an experience I had that displays the character of the people I work with.

This week, I have had a bad cold. Each of my co-workers who know this have sincerely inquired about how I am feeling, and have prayed for me during our pre-shift meetings (without my requesting it-they are just that thoughtful and sensitive). Yesterday, when I was running on just 4 hours of sleep, I had forgotten to grab some extra tissues to keep at my desk. I hadn't even mentioned it to anyone, and before I even realized that I had forgotten, one of my co-workers brought a whole roll of tissue to me. Later that day, another co-worker came over and laid a few cough drops on my desk, saying "These always soothe my throat when I have a cold..." I hadn't been coughing very much, but she considered how I was feeling and showed compassion by meeting a need. Today when I was searching for that roll of tissue from yesterday, the same co-worker who brought it to me helped me search, and when I found something different, she said "That will hurt your nose!"

This is the spirit of OL. Being sensitive to the needs of others, and rising to meet even the smallest need with grace and compassion.

Mind V. Body

2010-11-02T10:22:00.002-04:00

Ugh. I feel like my mind and body are in an all out war. I feel great; mentally, spiritually, emotionally-I am in a great mood, and feel like I could do anything. I have a bad cold though, and when I tried to do some laundry, I felt feverish and had to sit down for awhile... But I'm not tired. My mind is not tired, and refuses to rest. So now I have a cold and insomnia (I got maybe 4 hours of sleep last night, and I woke up at 6am yesterday when I didn't have to work until noon...what is wrong with me?!?!??!?), but I'm feeling great otherwise! This is just confusing to me...I guess I'll have to put up with it, though, until one of them wins. The nice thing about all of it is that I don't really feel tired.

I'm SO excited about the retreat this weekend! It's going to be wonderful to have a weekend off to fellowship with other believers, soak up great teaching, and have the opportunity to invest in someone else's life. I'm praying this cold gets better before Friday, I would hate to get anyone sick!!

Alive Again.

2010-11-01T15:06:00.002-04:00

Alive Again, by Matt Maher. I'm in love with this song. Especially that version-I really love the sound of that guitar. But the lyrics are what truly speak to my heart...

I woke up in darkness, surrounded by silence.
oh where, where have I gone?
I woke to reality losing its grip on me.
oh where, where have I gone?

'Cause I can see the light before I see the sunrise.

You called and You shouted
Broke through my deafness
Now I'm breathin' in, breathin' out
I'm alive again

You shattered my darkness
Washed away my blindness
Now I'm breathin' in, breathin' out
I'm alive again

Late have I loved You
You waited for me
I searched for You
what took me so long?

I was looking outside
as if love would ever want to hide
I'm finding I was wrong

You called and You shouted
Broke through my deafness
Now I'm breathin' in, breathin' out
I'm alive again

You shattered my darkness
Washed away my blindness
Now I'm breathin' in, breathin' out
I'm alive again....

"ummm...thank you?"

2010-10-29T09:25:00.002-04:00

Last night, we had an alternative to trick-or-treat party at church for the kids. It was so much fun, and the costumes were so cute! I think joy is kind of contagious (to me, at least-just seeing other people happy and light-hearted makes me so), and I spent most of the evening just watching the kids play, and the other adults enjoy each other's company over hot chocolate, cookies, hot dogs, and chips. It was a great time!

I took lots of pictures (I don't have a fancy camera or anything, I know nothing about photography), and I have a new appreciation for all of the work professional photographers do! I never realized how difficult it is to get 2-3 year-olds to look at you for more than a second. I also realized that it can take multiple, MULTIPLE, tries to get a good shot...so, out of the 85 I took, I may only end up with 20-30 that are decent. Several of the pictures didn't turn out exactly how I wanted them to, so I decided to do some simple editing (cropping, adjusting color & exposure)...I worked on them for an hour and a half, and only got through about 10 photos. Yeah, definitely have a new found respect for photographers.

At the party, a very sweet, well-meaning woman pulled me aside and said, "I just want to tell you, you look so pretty with make-up on. You should wear it all the time!"

"ummm...thank you?" was my reply as, laughing, I walked away. I know she meant it as a compliment, but it's always funny when people say things like that. I just might take her advice ;-)

In other "news" I've been trying to smile more. I was sitting at my desk one day last week, feeling very tired, and decided to try smiling (I knew that psychology degree would come in handy some time...see this to find out what I mean). I felt better almost immediately. Then I started thinking about how it makes me more comfortable when other people smile, and, realizing that despite being quite content, I don't smile much, made a resolution to do so more often.

Hope you all have a wonderful day! :-)

Thankful...

2010-10-27T08:21:00.002-04:00

This morning as the screeching sound of my alarm clock signalled that it was time to get up, I had but one thought: "NOT AGAIN!" I reluctantly crawled out of bed and got ready for work; I could tell that my attitude was going to be a struggle today. I'm sleepy, having trouble putting coherent sentences together when I talk with callers, and I just want to go home! Nothing like thinking about what I'm thankful for to kill a bad attitude, so here goes...

I am thankful for:
*Waking up this morning. In a warm bed. In a dry house. In a safe neighborhood. In a great nation.

*My co-workers, whose light, joyful personalities brighten my day.

*Visible, physical manifestations of the power of God (storms, what we see of the rest of the universe via the night sky, the intricacies of His creation, etc.)

*Breakfast this morning. (Yogi Granola Crisps-Mountain Blueberry flavor, and a banana)

*Super EASY crossword puzzles, as silly as it may sound :-p

*Family. (including my brothers and sisters in Him)

*Fond memories.

*Music, and talented musicians. (lately, I've really enjoyed the Sufjan Stevens and Jonsi pandora stations)

*A job that I enjoy, and that has eternal benefits.

*God, who is faithful and to whom I can entrust EVERYTHING.

*My health.

*Laughter.

"If you love me..."

2010-10-26T08:03:00.002-04:00

For the past several nights, I have been awake with a dog who just doesn't feel good. She has an ear infection, and she was having tummy trouble for about a day and a half. It's funny how, when you care very much for someone (or even some THING), the things that would normally feel burdensome are not a big deal. I don't mind losing sleep, if it means I can do something to help little Mae feel better. I even took her off of her old kibble, and decided to start feeding her rice and chicken, which makes more work for me (she has allergies, and I'm concerned that she might be allergic to something in her kibble...which could lead to both of the issues she had). I find it difficult sometimes to find the energy to cook for myself after a long day at work, but because I love that little dog so much, I didn't even sit down until I had finished making her food.

Well, last night after calming Mae down, I was thinking about how all of the things I did to make her feel better were evidence of my love for her. Which led to questions about evidence of love for others in my life (family, friends)...and questions about whether there is evidence of my love for my Savior... the Spirit brought to my mind the following passage from John 14:

“If you had known Me, you would have known My Father also; from now on you know Him, and have seen Him.”
Philip said to Him, “Lord, show us the Father, and it is enough for us.” Jesus said to him, “Have I been so long with you, and yet you have not come to know Me, Philip? He who has seen Me has seen the Father; how can you say, ‘Show us the Father’? “Do you not believe that I am in the Father, and the Father is in Me? The words that I say to you I do not speak on My own initiative, but the Father abiding in Me does His works. “Believe Me that I am in the Father and the Father is in Me; otherwise believe because of the works themselves. “Truly, truly, I say to you, he who believes in Me, the works that I do, he will do also; and greater works than these he will do; because I go to the Father. “Whatever you ask in My name, that will I do, so that the Father may be glorified in the Son. “If you ask Me anything in My name, I will do it.
If you love Me, you will keep My commandments."

I am so thankful for the guidance of the Holy Spirit, who shows me when I'm wrong, and leads me in the way that I should go!

Nothing New, Really.

2010-10-20T10:43:00.002-04:00

Just a quick post to say that there's nothing new or exciting going on this week (other than, of course, the continued refining God is working within me...).

I somehow missed my alarm this morning and woke up with only 5 minutes to get ready for work. I don't know how I managed to sleep through the alarm, it was less than 3 feet from my head!

I have this pair of shoes that I really like, but with some pants they just look stupid. I don't know what it is about them, but they just look so ridiculous. I was rushing out the door this morning, and just grabbed my socks and shoes, put them on in the car. When I got to work, I looked down and immediately regretted my choice. I doubt anyone else would even notice that they look weird, but it really bothers me. Why is that? Is it pride?

This week, I've been reading Colson & Pearcy's How Now Shall We Live?. So far, I really like it. My writing skills make it impossible to provide you with a decent summary of what this book attempts to convey, but if you are interested in finding out more about it, you can read a great review here. The issues addressed are so important for the Believer in this day and age, and I believe reading any one chapter will, in some way, make one better equipped to engage in spiritual conversations with an unbeliever. That said, it is rather intellectual, heavy reading, so I'm taking my time with it. Have you read it? What did you think?

Reading.

2010-10-13T21:59:00.002-04:00

I've been on a reading kick lately. I have them every once in awhile-times when I find all other forms of entertainment tiresome, and nothing will satisfy except a good book...or essay, or magazine article, or any work that is nearby and worth reading. Times when reading is literally the only thing I want to do. This week, so far, I have read Jane Austen's Mansfield Park, Paul's second letter to the Thessalonians and both letters to the Corinthians, C.S. Lewis' The Silver Chair and The Horse and his Boy. While the truth contained in the Word of God is always refreshing and edifying, I also feel like I have learned SOOO much about what is right and good from the fiction I have been reading! As a younger believer, I felt somewhat guilty about reading fiction-as if it were not a worthwhile use of my time. I thought that if I was reading anything, it should be the Bible or a book about the Bible, or a book about a missionary. Such a narrow minded (and sort of arrogant, on my part) take on reading! I have since come to the conclusion that one may learn from anything; any experience, conversation, or written work may be used by God to train and refine us, as long as we remain teachable! Not to say there aren't experiences, conversations, or written works that are absolute garbage-there certainly ARE-but, even in choosing to take in the garbage, there is invariably something to be learned (even if it is just a sense of "I never want to do that again").

As an example of this, in case you aren't sold on fiction, here are just a few things I have taken away from what I've read this week:

-From Mansfield Park: Fanny's absolute humility, great modesty, and relentless integrity always inspire me. I relate most to her than any other literary character I have ever "met;" I have found myself more ready and willing to serve quietly & contentedly as a result of reading this novel.

-From The Silver Chair: If you have not read the Chronicles of Narnia yet-DO IT. I know they are billed as children's books and all that, but an adult wrote them. A rather brilliant adult. And I believe that people of all ages would benefit from reading them. A few take away messages from this volume were: 1)seeking glory in the eyes of men may make one's journey more difficult, 2) That distraction from the mission at hand may lead to danger, 3)That His instructions ALWAYS work, 4) When one fails, but repents, they may indeed hear "Think of that no more. I will not always be scolding..." 5) While many detours may be taken, it is never too late to be re-directed and complete the mission at hand, 6) Death is but a transfer from this world to the next.

What have you been reading lately? Have you read any of the aforementioned works? What are your thoughts?

Not Mere Mortals.

2010-10-09T22:33:00.003-04:00

I just read this, and felt rather convicted by it....

"There are no ordinary people. You have never talked to a mere mortal. Nations, cultures, arts, civilizations-these are mortal, and their life is to ours as the life of a gnat. But it is immortals who we joke with, work with, marry, snub, and exploit-immortal horrors or everlasting splendors. This does not mean that we are to be perpetually solemn. We must play. But our merriment must be of that kind (and it is, in fact, the merriest kind) which exists between people who have, from the outset, taken each other seriously-no flippancy, no superiority, no presumption. And our charity must be a real and costly love with deep feeling for the sins in spite of which we love the sinner-no mere tolerance, or indulgence which parodies love as flippancy parodies merriment."

-from "The Weight of Glory" in Screwtape Proposes a Toast

Discipleship.

2010-10-07T09:19:00.002-04:00

After Pastor Mike's talk on 1 Thessalonians 4 last night, I felt motivated to read the rest of the book. It's so exciting to see what *new* things God will bring to light when we re-read His Word. It's been quite some time since I read through either of Paul's letters to the Thessalonians-at least a year, and this time around, what stood out most was this beautiful picture of discipleship.

"For you yourselves know, brethren, that our coming to you was not in vain, but after we had already suffered and been mistreated in Philippi, as you know, we had the boldness in our God to speak to you in the gospel of God amid much opposition." (1 Thess. 2:1-2, they had actually suffered-not just been scoffed at or ridiculed because of their faith, but they pressed forward in God's strength to present the gospel-what an example for us!! I am such a coward, but I truly want to have faith like this...)

"For our exhortation does not come from error or impurity or by way of deceit, but just as we have been approved by God to be entrusted with the gospel, so we speak, not as pleasing men, but God who examines our hearts." (vv.3-4, their motive was pure-pleasing God)

"For we never came with flattering speech, as you know, nor with a pretext for greed-God is witness- nor did we seek glory from men, either from you or from others, even though as apostles of Christ we might have asserted our authority." (vv.6-7, They had a position of authority, but did not lord it over the people; they did not seek men's praise or wealth. Later in the chapter, Paul even describes how they worked day and night so as not to be a burden to anyone.)

"But we proved to be gentle among you, as a nursing mother tenderly cares for her own children. Having so fond an affection for you, we were well-pleased to impart to you not only the gospel of God but also our own lives, because you had become very dear to us." (vv.7-8. what a sweet picture of discipleship! being well-pleased to make those sacrifices, endure suffering, and work tirelessly-pouring their own lives(in love) to make disciples. Lord, please give me that heart!)

Recipes That Make My Life Easier (4)

2010-10-06T12:00:00.003-04:00

Cornbread Salad

You will need:

8 oz shredded cheese (Kroger has a habanero cheese that tastes really good in this-not too spicy either)
8 oz sour cream (optional)
1-16 oz can black beans
1-16 oz can pinto beans
1-10 oz can Rotel tomatoes & Green Chilies
1-16 oz can whole kernel corn (I like to use the kind that has bell peppers in it, too)
1 Red onion, chopped
cornbread crumbles (not to be confused with crumbs ;-p use at least 9x9in pan for this-can use more, depending on preference; to save time, I sometimes just buy it from Kroger)

Set aside half of the cheese, about a half cup of cornbread, and all of the sour cream. In a large bowl, mix all other ingredients together. Top with sour cream, the rest of the cheese, and remaining cornbread (in that order). Makes about 12 servings.

Also yummy served as a dip for tortilla chips, this dish is great for potlucks since it serves so many and is so quick to put together. It is also delicious, so sometimes I just want to keep it all for myself :-)I'm usually able to buy all of the ingredients for $10 or less, that's $0.83/serving. Most would put this dish in sides category, I think, but it really has everything you need for a complete meal (protein, carbohydrates, vegetables, etc.).

Poll!

2010-10-06T09:51:00.002-04:00

The holidays are fast approaching, and I've begun to consider what to give my loved ones for Christmas. My love language (or at least one of them) is receiving gifts, which is probably why I spend so much time thinking about what to give. I want to give gifts that I know they will like, but that are also thoughtful and considerate of their unique personalities and interests-something they will truly enjoy. I love receiving homemade gifts; I think they are so thoughtful and lovely! That said, I am sure there are people who disagree, and as I attempt to choose good gifts, I thought it might be helpful to know the general consensus. I was hoping you might help me by voting in this little poll...:-)

Good. Better. Best.

2010-10-05T12:30:00.005-04:00

While we're talking about food, I've tasted some new, good stuff this week so far; so good, that it wouldn't be fair to keep it to myself.

Good: Organic Granny Smith Apples (I got mine at Kroger, and they were absolutely delicious...I usually don't like granny smiths because they tend to be sour. These were sweet enough to eat, though!)

Better: Eating the above with Marzetti Cinnamon Caramel Apple Dip. So delicious! At first taste, it seems like plain ol' caramel, but the cinnamon arrives fashionably late (a few seconds later) and you get a warm taste Autumn.

Best: Chicken Phad Thai from Happy Dragon Chinese restaurant (on Main St. in Reynoldsburg). Absolutely delicious-the seasoning is spicy and, unlike the standard soy-sauce laden Chinese food you typically find, it has real flavor. I love the texture of the noodles and bean sprouts together, too. I've probably bought take-out from Happy Dragon more than 100 times in the past 12 years, but I had never tried the Phad Thai. I'm glad I ventured out to try something new-I think I've found a new favorite!

Recipes That Make My Life Easier (3)

2010-10-03T12:24:00.001-04:00

Installment #3 of Recipes that make my life easier is a simple dessert: sugar cookies. My mom and I make cookies and various other treats before Wednesday night service at our church, and this is a favorite-we never have any of them left! This my spin on a recipe I found in an old cookbook-I altered it a little, so I can claim it as my own :-p

Nafisa's Sugar Cookies

You will need:

1 cup (2 sticks) butter
1.5 cups sugar
1 egg
2 T (that's right, Tablespoons) vanilla extract
2.75 cups self-rising flour
Another 1/2 c. sugar to roll cookies in before baking

Preheat oven to 400 degrees f. In mixing bowl, cream together butter and sugar until smooth. Beat in egg and vanilla, then mix in flour. Roll dough into small balls, roll in sugar, and place on un-greased cookie sheet. Bake for 7 minutes. Makes around 3 dozen.

Because these are simple, everyday ingredients that most everyone keeps in a pantry, I'm not sure how what the cost would break down to, but it can't be very expensive (I usually have all of the ingredients on hand).

Hodgepodge.

2010-10-02T13:19:00.002-04:00

*I was having a rough start to the morning...I was a few minutes late for work (I get SOOO stressed about being late for anything-being late is NOT me at ALL, and it seems like I'm always coming in a few minutes late these days. AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!! :( ) Then the computer I was sitting at acted like it wasn't going to work. After a few minutes, everything was fine, but I was still stressed. Later, I joined in a discussion with my co-workers about a certain Mcfast food joint down the street that never gets orders correct, and felt a little better. Then we talked about the happenings in a few of our favorite shows (namely, Hell's Kitchen and The Office), and I felt even better. Praise God for laughter!

*It is half time during the game right now. I'm still at work, but I follow the games on ESPN's gamecast. It's 14-10, OSU. LET'S GO BUCKEYES!!!!

*I can't believe it is October! 2010 is flying by. There are so many things I wanted to do but haven't yet. I'm trying to convince myself that 3 months is enough time.

*I've been slacking with this whole weight loss/healthy lifestyle thing. Ugh! I really need to step it up. I've just felt so tired lately. I don't know what's going on with me; sometimes, when I do go walking, I feel like I'm going to fall asleep.

*I hate using the telephone. By the time I get home from work, I am so tired of talking that I don't want to even look at a phone. It's bad. To understand how truly bad it is, please refer to the following example: I received the incorrect amount for my income tax return for 2008, so I never cashed the check. Then I couldn't remember where I kept my copies of the tax forms so I could get it corrected, so I still haven't received a refund for 2008. I got a letter a few months ago from the IRS telling me they wanted to get my money to me, and all I needed to do was call to get everything straightened out. But, I still haven't. I was a dependent in 2008, so it's not like it is a huge amount of money, but it is still extra cash that belongs to me, but because I hate the telephone so much, I haven't called yet. I need to get on that.

*I wish more people understood what a horrible thing abortion is. So many view it as a political issue, but it is a life and death issue. Those who make laws want to talk about how to define life; some say that an embryo is just a bundle of tissue, not a child until "it" is born. I think this is worth looking at from a different perspective, though; how do we define death? Merriam-Webster calls it "permanent cessation of all vital functions." Well, a healthy baby's heart is beating at a steady rhythm by the 5th week after the LMP (last menstrual period). This is when most women take a pregnancy test to learn that they are pregnant. The [barbaric] abortion procedures stop that beating heart; In fact, the earliest abortion procedure cuts off all nutrients, blood, and oxygen from the developing embryo. Disgusting. Absolutely disgusting. What is truly horrible is that many women, even after being educated about fetal development and what actually happens to the baby in an abortion, will choose to do this to their unborn children. What a self-centered society we have become!!! I'm praying daily for an end to the atrocity of abortion. Praying daily(and it makes me sick to even have to pray this) that God would soften the hearts of mothers toward their unborn children. Only He has the power to change the world, but we must also be bold enough to speak the truth, in love.

*Yesterday, in the grocery store, I overheard a woman (presumably the grandmother) berate and threaten to kill a child (her exact words were, "stop that before I kill you!"). There were two little girls, and neither of them were doing anything at all-they weren't fussing or being disobedient, or even speaking. I had half a mind to report her to CPS. I wish I would have at least said something to her, but I didn't know what would have been appropriate. I prayed for her, and the children. I wish I would have done more, though...What could possibly be going on in that woman's life/mind to make her say something like that?? What will become of those children who are being treated so harshly? (I would call it abuse!)

*I listened to a message the other day by Dr. Keith Eitel from SWBTS' chapel on 9/16/2010. I found it very convicting. It's definitely worth a watch or listen (it's on Matt. 24:3-16).

Recipes That Make My Life Easier (2)

2010-10-01T09:35:00.002-04:00

And now, for the second installment of Recipes That Make My Life Easier :-) I will apologise in advance for this recipe not being very specific in measurements- I just eyeball everything and use seasoning/sauces to taste!

Chicken Fried Rice

You will need:

Chicken (as much as you'd like to use; leftover chicken works too- leftover rotisserie chicken is perfect!)

Cooked Rice (I usually use around 5 cups; you can either use leftover rice or cook it while you are preparing the rest of the recipe)

1 Bag Frozen peas & carrots

1 Bag frozen corn (my twist on this dish-it adds nice texture and flavor)

Chopped Onion

Sesame or chili oil, and Olive oil

Soy Sauce

Stir Fry Sauce or Peanut Sauce

1-2 eggs

If you do not have left over rice, begin by cooking your rice. Once that is started, cook chicken and onions in sesame/chili and olive oil in a large pan or wok. Add a few splashes of soy sauce and stir fry sauce to season the chicken. Once chicken is fully cooked (or when the onions have caramelized, if you are using pre-cooked chicken), add frozen vegetables and more sauce (everything should be lightly coated with sauce at this point). When the vegetables are warm, add the rice and mix well. Fry on high heat. In a small bowl, whisk eggs. Pour eggs over rice and continue stirring until eggs are fully cooked and mixed into rice. Takes around 30 minutes from start to finish. Makes 6-10 servings.

Using items I already have on hand (soy sauce, oil, and other seasonings), I'm generally able to make this recipe for less than $10. That's $1-$1.67 per plate :-)

Recipes That Make My Life Easier. (1)

2010-09-29T08:22:00.002-04:00

I couldn't think of anything else to write about today, so I thought I might start a little "series"-posting recipes that make my life easier. It seems like we are all in a hurry, and all strapped for cash in America lately, and I, like many people these days, have been searching for ways to save money on food without spending hours in the kitchen. I've found a few things that work REALLY well, and also are very inexpensive, so I thought I might share . Unfortunately, for this first recipe, I don't have any pictures. Maybe next time :-)

"Pasta Primavera" ...or something like it.

1 Box Pasta (any variety-I like to use whole grain because it is better nutritionally)

1 Bag Frozen Vegetables (if using cream sauce, broccoli or peas & carrots are good. When using tomato sauce, I like to use a 3 pepper (red, green, yellow) and onion mix)

1 Jar Pasta Sauce (you can also use salad dressing, or just olive oil; I used an Asian Ginger dressing once and it was really good :-) )

Cook pasta according to directions on package. When pasta is nearly done (about 5 minutes left), add vegetables into the pot. When pasta is done, the vegetables should be also. Strain and return them to the pot, then stir in sauce; heat until sauce is desired temperature. Takes 15-20 minutes from start to finish. Makes 4 servings as main course, 6 servings as side dish.

Because these ingredients are often on sale, I have usually been able to buy all of them for 3-5 dollars. That's $0.75-$1.25/plate!

Master's, Here I Come!...Among other things :-)

2010-09-27T12:48:00.003-04:00

This afternoon, I found out that I have been accepted into LU's online program for MA in Marriage and Family Therapy! I've been praying for wisdom about when to begin classes, how to finance my (continuing) education, etc. (I know that some of you have been praying as well, thank you so much!) I am confident that my God will provide for all of my needs, and I just want to make decisions that bring honor to Him.

I've gotten over my little moment of fear about whether I am capable of completing the program; I KNOW I am not. But God is going to use whatever education I receive to prepare me for further service, so I will trust Him and do my best to prepare for the work He has for me.

Lately, every act of service has brought such joy to me-even small acts of obedience. This is something I haven't experienced very often in my relationship with God. I am, by nature, lazy and selfish-but God is changing me, it is a day by day renewal. I really WANT to please Him, and I know I can by simply obeying Him, and CHOOSING to worship Him (through each act of obedience, through studying His word, serving others, singing praises to Him, praying, acknowledging Him in all things) every minute of every day. Just the thought that something I do could bring a smile to the face of the great God of the Universe makes my heart overflow! The burdensome, everyday chores are not burdensome anymore. Everything seems new, and I've been more willing to step outside of my comfort zone.

Yesterday, I had a cookout with my dad and a buddy of his (who is a believer; SO glad God has put him in my dad's life) at the park -I was really glad to spend time with dad, and have a chance to show Him the love of God. It was also a really nice day-a little chilly, but perfect fall weather. I had planned to make some tandoori chicken on the grill, but we couldn't find a place that had the tandoori paste I usually use, so I used curry paste instead and it turned out pretty good :)

By the way, if you would like to try making Indian food at home, there is a really easy way to go about it (from start to finish, it probably takes around 45 minutes)...

For a quick chicken curry, you will need:

1 Jar curry paste (you can buy this at any Indian store, or in a grocery store that has a LARGE international section)
1-12 oz container sour cream
1 C ketchup
1-2 lbs chicken, depending on how saucy you want the chicken. (Boneless cooks faster, but bone-in has more flavor)
1 onion
1t chopped garlic
olive or vegetable oil

1. Begin by sauteing the garlic and onion in oil. While you wait for the onions to caramelize, either cut the boneless chicken into pieces, or begin mixing the curry.
2. Mix curry paste, sour cream, and ketchup in a separate bowl.
3. Once onions have caramelized, add chicken and curry sauce.
4. You can either continue to cook at medium-high heat (which will require more attention to prevent scorching, but will be quicker), or turn down to medium (longer cooking time, but less attention necessary)
When the chicken is fully cooked, enjoy with rice (my favorite) or bread.

Winner!

2010-09-26T17:47:00.001-04:00

There were only two names to enter into my little drawing today, so I wrote each name down 5 times, and put all ten "tickets" into a small cup. I then covered the cup and shook it vigorously to ensure that all ingredients were fully incorporated...wait, that's not right... anyhow, the winner is...STEPHANIE! Thank you so much for reading these posts (and many thanks to Jen as well, and anyone else who reads but didn't enter the giveaway), and I hope you will enjoy the skirt (which will be coming to a mailbox near you sometime this week ;) ).

I'm thinking of doing another drawing sometime, maybe even next month. Any ideas about what I should make next time?

So....

2010-09-22T11:24:00.002-04:00

I began filling out an application to LU a month or two ago. I filled out everything, so that all I would have to do in January is file the application and have a copy of my transcripts from Ohio State sent to them. Well, it turns out that the admissions department has already been assessing the application! I've received a few emails reminding me to send transcripts (the application status is on hold until they receive them), and a few telling me it's not too late to get registered for the late fall term (begins in October).

I decided that it would be best to go ahead with sending the transcripts and see what happens. I am really nervous. Not really about getting accepted, but...I am concerned about financing for school this early (I had planned to save for another year before starting a program). I'll have to fill out a FAFSA using info from last years taxes-which will probably leave me ineligible for much financial aid because I was still in college and listed as a dependent. If it is God's will for me to start taking classes, I know He will provide...I just hope I will be wise enough to discern His will and provision.

I was looking through the course of study, and even the *tentative* syllabi's for a few classes... and it looks pretty intense. One course I looked at was only 8 weeks, and in addition to a few smaller assignments and quizzes, there will be a 10-15 page research paper due by the end of the term.

For the first time in my life, I'm questioning whether I can handle something that intense... Academically, I've been up for almost every challenge-in high school, I took 3 AP classes at one time (going against the advice my teachers had given me). In college, I took on 20 credit hours/quarter while working a full time job. It was never easy, but I was never intimidated. I'm intimidated now. I'm asking myself: is my writing graduate school quality? Am I smart enough? Do I have the self-discipline to do this? I don't know. I just don't know.

P.S. don't forget to enter the give away!

Give Away!

2010-09-19T19:44:00.003-04:00

So, this evening I was just sitting around with nothing to do. I had been looking at pattern-less skirt sewing instructions, and decided to try it out with some fabric I had at home. While it's no masterpiece (I am an AMATEUR seamstress at BEST), I thought it turned out pretty well. See for yourself....

It is entirely adjustable (see the brown ribbon at the waist?), so it's one size fits most. I've been thinking about doing some kind of give away through my blog to thank those of you who may be reading (it really is a great encouragement to know that even a few people read these ramblings of mine!), but I wanted it to be something handmade. So after I finished the final stitches on this skirt, I decided to give it away here! If you'd like to add this to your wardrobe, just comment on this post. I'll put the names (assuming there are any, haha!!) in a hat and draw the winner 1 week from today (that will be Sunday, September 26th), so you have until this Saturday to enter. :-) Thanks for reading, and good luck!

Memories.

2010-09-18T11:59:00.004-04:00

This photo was taken a few weeks ago, when the air was just beginning to get cool. Something about the sky triggered a memory from my childhood...

I was in 2nd or 3rd grade, at recess. My two Indian friends and I had just finished dancing around (the way they do in the Hindi movies) in the field beside the swing set. I had worn a salwar kameez (an Indian outfit) to school that day, and thought it was so much fun to dance around in it! (although it probably looked pretty hilarious-I have always been a HORRIBLE dancer. Really, HORRIBLE!!!)

Once we had worn ourselves out, we fell to the ground laughing, and, laying on our backs, we looked at the sky. We didn't know what the other kids thought about us. We didn't care. We just laid there watching the white, fluffy shapes pass over us. We all thought one looked like an elephant. I'm fairly certain we were all looking in different directions, though. That recess seemed to last forever. It was one of maybe a handful of times I ever felt like I really "fit in" with the other kids at school.

I don't remember why I ever stopped hanging out with those kids; maybe I wanted to be part of the popular crowd, who knows...

Goodness, just thinking about recess brings back so many memories...playground weddings, carrying a boom box around the tether ball area trying to get my friends to record a song with me, sewing/selling beanie baby sleeping bags with my friend (we had a nice little business going until the teachers stopped us)...

The "Christians only club"...Several people I had been friends with started a club, but it was for Christians only; they would play together during recess, and one girl who I thought was a very good friend told me I couldn't play with them because I wasn't a Christian. Then I started to spend my recesses with Kate; she comforted me when I was crying the day Amber told me I couldn't play with the her and other kids. She believed that she could talk to ghosts, and she really loved horses. When she came over to my house, she told me that there was a lady ghost haunting it-that she had died in the house, but she was friendly. Totally creeped me out. Kate said and did strange things (like eating her entire lunch-including the brown paper sack), but I was glad to have her friendship.

Thrills and Adventure.

2010-09-17T09:28:00.002-04:00

In case you didn't know, I've been struck with a MAJOR case of wanderlust lately. I want to travel, have an adventure, escape from the monotony of this life! While I sleep, I visit Europe, South America, Australia...I meet people from all over the world. While I am awake, I daydream about backpacking through the country (sometimes I spend my free moments at work looking online for tents, backpacks, and good hiking shoes).** When I walk out of a place, I have this impulse to keep walking. Some days, the impulse is so strong that I wear uncomfortable shoes just to keep myself from giving in...

Yesterday, I was doing some cleaning and came across an old journal of mine. (as a side note, it's incredible how different (and how similar) my struggles were 4 years ago from what they are now!) In several entries, there was an overall tone of complete surrender, obedience, and overwhelming joy at the thought that God would use me to accomplish His purposes. Every opportunity to share His Word was an adventure, sharing the gospel with someone was such a THRILL!

As I read the last paragraphs of that journal, tears were rolling down my face-because I knew something has changed. "Why am I not satisfied with where I am? Should I be somewhere else, or is this an attitude problem in me?" These are questions that have been haunting me for quite some time, but finally confronted me head on.

The answers were much simpler than I thought they would be; unfortunately, I do not have the ability to fully express in words what they were. I will say that in some ways, my will was not entirely surrendered to His, and my obedience, although it was obedience, was not joyful. I hate that I have missed out on so much by having such a bad attitude, but I am so thankful that it has been brought to my attention.

Yesterday, the first email in my inbox was from a woman who desperately needed to know grace, and God allowed me to share the gospel with her. I may never know the outcome, but I know that when God's Word is sent forth, it does not come back void. I cannot express to you how much joy and excitement I felt to be used by God. Though I know that God has been using me, I've missed that feeling.

This morning, I received a call from a friend who needed to find a pregnancy center for a friend of hers who is in a very difficult situation. Even though my part in what God is doing in that person's life was very small, I got chills. The greatest thrill we can EVER experience is to be used by God. I hope I never forget that *again.*

Oh, and don't take that to mean my wanderlust is gone...it's definitely not. I'm just glad to be where I am, doing what I'm doing. I'm excited to have the opportunity to serve people, and serve God by doing so, every day!

**I'm thinking about going on a backpacking trip this summer-maybe taking a week or two and going across an entire state. I know finding someone to come with may be difficult, and I might not actually find someone to accompany me, but if you are interested, definitely let me know :-)

Morning Walk

2010-09-11T12:26:00.001-04:00

I took a nice 4 mile walk this morning, and enjoyed every second. I think my favorite part was walking past the fields where there was a clear view of the sky. It was absolutely beautiful!

On the other hand, I can't believe it has been 9 years since the 9.11 attacks. I sat in geometry class and the tv was switched on just as the second tower was hit. What a sad day for our nation! what a comfort it is to know that we serve a sovereign God who can turn sorrow into joy, and mourning to dancing.

10 Things I Bet You Didn't Know About Me.

2010-09-09T08:25:00.003-04:00

I've been writing several serious posts lately (I suppose that's how real life is, and sometimes-with all of the suffering going on around us-it just doesn't seem right to be lighthearted), so I thought I'd write something light :-)

1. I have *knowingly* done 2 illegal things in my life. (if you MUST know...I stole a pack of gum when I was 5 years old (I showed it to my mom when we left the store, and she made me give it back :-p), and I smoked cigarettes for a few months when I was 14 or 15)

2. I daydream about walking(backpacking) across the country (or even a few states). Also,

3. I'd really like to live somewhere where everything you need is within walking distance. Automobiles cost so much to maintain; it would definitely be a cash saver!

4. I hate taking medication. When I have a headache, it really has to be unbearable before I take anything, and when I have occasional breathing problems, I wait until it is really bad to take my (prescription) inhaler.

5. My new favorite drink is flavored sparkling water (the best I've tried is La Croix, lime flavor). No sugar or sweeteners, no sodium, but the flavor is like Sprite- I love it!

6. I love dresses. Especially vintage dresses, from the 50s and 60s. And the long gowns from the 1700s/1800s. If I could, I would live in dresses. and yoga pants..I don't think I could go without those.

7. When I was 8 or 9 years old, my cousin and I took my dad's glasses off his face while he was sleeping and went outside to try to make fire. It didn't work. And my dad never knew, haha.

8. I have never seen an ocean.

9. The order in my closet (left to right) is as follows. Section 1: jackets, hoodies/fleece; Section 2: jeans, workout pants, dress pants, skirts; Section 3: 3/4 length shirts, long sleeve shirts, blouses, sweaters, shrugs; Section 4: Dresses.

10. In autumn, I miss being in elementary school; the harvest parties and costume days were my favorite. Not to mention new school supplies, new classmates, easy homework, story time in the library, Mrs. S' music class, Mrs. D's art class, Miss F's gym class, lunch in the commons at those long cafeteria tables, . oh yeah, and no job :-p

[untitled]

2010-09-08T09:15:00.003-04:00

"I cannot make decisions for them, but I can be a light in the darkness. Actions have consequences, and I should be letting them know, in love, that their actions do have consequences so that they will turn from their ways and run towards God. I cannot control other people. I can speak the truth in love, hoping that they will respond in a way that honors God. If they don't, they will have the penalty to bear. The reward will be mine for obedience. "

I remember that I was at work and tears were falling down my face because a woman (who was considering abortion) absolutely refused any information I had to offer her (This, by the way is very common-something I encounter EVERY day). I was angry at her self-centerdness, and sorry for her at the same time. I prayed that God would somehow intervene and change her heart, but I was still enraged. So I started writing about the evils of this world, about the (unnecessary) self-induced misery many people encounter. Before I knew it, though, I had written the sentences above. They brought me peace then, and again today when I came across them. Maybe I'm the only person who needed to hear them. But just in case, there you have it.

Thought Sorting.

2010-09-03T08:14:00.003-04:00

I have this goal of posting here at least once a week (52 times this year). I don't really feel like I have anything to say this week, but I do feel like writing, so we'll see what happens.

The past few weeks have been eye-opening and emotion (sadness, heartache, joy, anger, you name it) filled. There is so much going on in the world; in my little sphere of it and beyond. It is difficult not to be overwhelmed by those events that evoke such emotion, but I trust God, who has ultimate control over all things and desires only good for those who are His.

I will never completely understand His works, and I may only ever see a glimpse of His reasoning, but I know that I can trust Him. He is faithful-this I KNOW (His faithfulness to His people has been evident throughout history, and in my own life time and time again), and though He allows pain and suffering, NOTHING can separate us from His love....I'm trying to wrap my mind around that...we are INSEPARABLE from His love, it is impossible to escape...suffering does not separate us from His love, our attitudes during suffering cannot separate us from it, our response (or lack thereof) to Him will not separate us from His love. We cannot escape it.

Recently, my mind has been occupied with how quickly life passes. Here one day, gone the next, and once you're gone, there's no second chance...

There are so many areas of my life that need improvement. This week, I read Jane Austen's Emma (this was the third time), and watched the 2009 BBC adaptation(which, in my opinion, was very good after the introductory parts). Now I am convinced that I need a Mr. Knightly-someone to confront me when I have behaved badly, to bring my faults to my attention in order that I may grow.

[some say that reading novels like that, and watching the movies, is a complete waste of time...I have even heard a man say that Jane Austen gives women false hope, and unrealistic expectations, where men are concerned. But, I believe that God used Emma to make me aware of some of my own faults. Where truth can be found and applied, time is not wasted :-)]

I've been vividly recalling some of my dreams, lately. They have been almost too coherent to be dreams, so I don't know what's really going on in my mind, but I've been writing them down. I don't read much into dreams, generally, but there just has to be a reason I've recalled these so well. Not sure what it is, yet, though.

Well, that's enough thought sorting for now.

thanks for reading.

A Treasure.

2010-08-25T09:14:00.003-04:00

I'm not sure what got me thinking about it, but this morning I found myself contemplating what I would put in a display case (you know, the kind that typically hold china and glass, knick knacks, and other "treasures?")...

The first thing I thought of was a plastic glasses case (that probably came with a pair of reading glasses). I realize that in and of itself, a glasses case is hardly a treasure, but this one is very precious to me. In September, 2006, I went with a group of awesome people on a mission trip to NYC. We talked to people about God, visited the Brooklyn Tabernacle, served at the Bowery Mission (and had an opportunity to attend chapel there, too... for those who were there, remember that guy-who was probably on crack-sitting in the front row?? ..."I went to the enemy's camp..."), prayed with dozens of people, sang praises to God in a busy subway station (I don't remember, was it Grand Central?), helped out at an after school program, had great fellowship, and enjoyed the sites and sounds of the city. When we set up a prayer table (with brochures emphasizing the importance/power of prayer, gospel tracts, etc.) and offered prayer to those passing by, I met a woman who really touched my heart. Her name was Maria. She was pushing around a cart that probably held all of her belongings, and she asked for prayer for herself and her husband. They were homeless, and she also wanted to have a baby. I talked with her for awhile, prayed with her, and talked some more. Maria was so kind and friendly...I asked if she had anything to eat, and she said that she had some gum (and offered me a piece :-) ). We had brought some sack lunches with us that we were able to give her, and we gave her information about a church nearby. She was SO appreciative for everything. She gave me a hug and thanked me again before she walked away. A few days later, right before we left the city, while we were singing praises to God in the middle of the same station, I saw Maria again. She immediately gave me a hug and I prayed with her again; she asked if there was a number she could call to get in touch with us if she was ever in Ohio, and she said she had something for me. She pulled out the plastic glasses case and handed it to me saying "you can use this to put your pens in, or something..." Here she was, a woman who has very little...not even a place of her own to sleep at night, giving me a gift. I keep it to remember her kindness, and pray for her family whenever I come across it. I will probably never see her again, but I will always remember Maria, and will always count her gift as one of my treasures :-)

Beautiful Monday.

2010-08-16T12:29:00.004-04:00

This morning, I woke up at 8:30 (I only work 12p-4p on Mondays-what a blessing!), got dressed and was out walking by 9:00am. The weather was perfect for a walk; 72*, a cool breeze, and just enough sun to make the shade of a tree here and there welcome. I listened to the Anathallo station on Pandora as I made my way through our neighborhood and watched my shadow travel alongside. Smiled and said "Good Morning!" to other walkers/runners as they passed. This is now one of my favorite parts of walking...

As teenagers, my friend, T, and I would walk together and often other teens and pre-teens (strangers to us, of course) would yell rude or obscene things at us. I was/am very sensitive, and the kind of things they said were so offensive that....Well, I just wish I wouldn't have let complete strangers hurt my feelings. I suppose I carried those memories into adulthood and up until a few years ago, I wouldn't walk by myself around our neighborhood. The first time I decided to face my ridiculous fears, I was surprised by kind and friendly people, nodding and saying "Hello." Before, I would dread passing anyone on my walks, but now I look forward to it and I can't even express to you how much joy a simple "Hello" or "Good Morning" brings.

About 2.5 miles later, I was back home. Changed, had lunch-for-breakfast, and headed to work. Maybe it's the weather, maybe it was the walk, or maybe it's a combination of those things and the fact that I have finally made some decisions about my future, but I am in a very good mood right now.

Thank you, Lord, for this beautiful Monday!

What's on My Mind?

2010-08-12T08:34:00.002-04:00

1. Decisions, decisions, decisions. What grad programs to apply for? (I'm almost decided about this one) Where to live? Stay...? or go...? If/when I go, what sort of job should I be looking for?

2. The opinion this world has of Jesus and His followers. There are many who reject Him, despise and make fools of those who follow Him. 2,000 years after His death, and not a day goes by where there are not passionate conversations about this Man...where He is not mocked or scoffed at, and where He is not worshipped. He is the only person I know of who has achieved such long-lasting fame and caused such division. Even though it is painful to hear Him being mocked, His sacrifice being trivialized, and His people made fools of, I pray that conversations about Him continue. The Truth will be made known sooner or later.

3. Those who are hurting. Families having to watch their children/parent/sibling lose a battle with cancer. Children who have lost parents too soon, having to face the challenges of life without a mother or father. Parents who have lost children. I can only imagine their pain, but I pray daily that they would be comforted...would feel the love of God even in the midst of tragedy.

4. Marriages/Families that fall apart because they have not learned how to communicate (and in a loving way), and how to correct this problem.

5. Ohio State. I really miss college. REALLY, REALLY. Like, so much that I can't even find words to describe how much so I have to repeat the same word several times to convey how much I miss it. I reallyreallyreallyreallyreallyreallyreallyreallyreallyreallyreallyreallyreallyreally miss college.

6. God's patience with me. I am astounded by it.

7. My church family. I love all of you LBC-ers. I really do. Sometimes I look around at all of the people (those I've known all my life, those I've known since I started coming to LBC 8 years ago, visitors, people I've never met), and my heart swells with joy to be worshipping alongside them. I don't say it nearly as often as it needs to be said, but I'm thinking it all the time...you're my family and I LOVE you!

8. Integrity & faithfulness. Invaluable qualities (especially in the workplace) that, though often difficult to live out, will not only bless the person who possesses them, but will bless each person who comes in contact with them. I am extremely blessed by the ladies I work with :-)

9. Making Stuff. I used to feel SO uncomfortable in hardware stores... I was trying to explain to my brother how I felt, and I said "You know how dad talks about feeling like a bull in a china shop? Well, that's sort the level of discomfort I have in a hardware store..." Then Ali says "What?! That doesn't make any sense. It's more like china in a bull shop!" what? haha. This conversation took place as we were walking into Lowes to pick up the materials we needed to build my bed (we designed and built it the last few days he was here). I guess when you know what exactly what you're looking for it isn't so scary. In fact, it might be my new favorite place to shop...the staff is so helpful and friendly, and even though I'm a woman, they didn't act like I was stupid (which was totally what I expected). I really love the idea of building furniture, and now that I'm not afraid of the hardware store, I might take on some other projects. Maybe bookshelves next...hmm....

[In case you were wondering...to build a full size platform bed, the materials (paint, lumber, screws, sandpaper) cost less than $100, and it only took a few hours to put together-which we spread out over two days. If you're interested in the details, I'd be glad to share :-)]

Vacation: Day 1, in the form of a list.

2010-07-25T22:34:00.002-04:00

1. Wake up, finish packing, load car.

2. Church

3. Go home, pick up dog.

4.Stop at Meijer for some last minute items.

5. Begin the trip to WV.

6. Found Bluegrass/rockabilly station. Perfect.

7. Car/transmission scare. Oh, nope, everything's fine. Start seeing real mountains.

8. Theological/philosophical discussions about: the definition of love, self-sacrifice, old v. new earth, gap theory, etc.

9. Arrive in White Sulphur Springs.

10. Greet family, feeling really at home :-)

11. Watch the John Daker video on Youtube with cousins/aunt.

12. laugh. and laugh some more.

13. write blog.

What it Boils Down To.

2010-07-12T13:26:00.005-04:00

Today while I was having my quiet time-trying to wrap my mind around Jesus' perfection, what it must have been like to live a sinless life, and how pure the sacrifice had to have been to atone for the sins of the whole world-I had some interesting thoughts...The dialogue in my head went something like this:

"It seems that people like us (sinful, and often delighting in being so) would want to avoid such a person-sinless and holy as He was, but Jesus was often surrounded by people."

"Yeah, but maybe they just wanted something from Him, their motives were selfish...most of them wanted to be healed of their diseases, or to be put in a place of honor..."

"Perhaps they did want those things, but the issue for Jesus wasn't that they wanted those things, it was that they trusted-they had faith-that He could make it happen. Maybe they weren't drawn to Him because of His own attributes, but the point is they were drawn to Him. It was their faith He loved and rewarded in many cases by granting their desires. And is it selfish to want to be healed? To want to be delivered from suffering? I think not. It is natural to desire wellness for ourselves and our loved ones, after all, that IS what God originally intended for us.

I've often heard people say 'I feel bad asking for prayer about something so little, but if you think about it, would you pray for _____.' Should one feel bad about going before God, in faith, about 'something so little?' I don't think so. I think He is pleased when we bring these things before Him. Whatever may be motivating us to do so, the fact is, we are bringing them to Him and by doing so acknowledging that He alone is able to remedy the situation (even the 'small' ones). Faith is what it all boils down to."

Sometimes I just need to look at something pretty.

2010-07-10T13:13:00.003-04:00

Misc.

2010-07-07T09:55:00.003-04:00

It is HOT out there, in case you didn't notice. Predicted high in Ft. Worth today? 88. In Columbus? 94...wait, what?!

Vacation in 18 days-yay!

Anyone else hear about this? I cried when I read the article. So sad...I am praying that this hurting woman will come to believe in the only One who can bring true comfort and hope.

People who have no remorse about things like assault and murder (psychopaths) really creep me out. (Especially when our legal system makes laws to protect the rights of people who do what is right in their own eyes, having no objective standard.) Antisocial Personality Disorder is "...a pervasive pattern of disregard for, and violation of, the rights of others that begins in childhood or early adolescence and continues into adulthood;" an individual with ASPD is commonly referred to as a psychopath. Individuals with ASPD almost never seek treatment (because they don't believe their behavior to be abnormal), and there is no evidence based treatment for the disorder. Anyone else see that episode of Lie to Me on Monday? "...I wanted her bike." That's what got me thinking about this ASPD stuff. I love that show.

I had a dream last night that I was back in college, and I kept forgetting to go to my last class (it was supposed to be at 2pm). I didn't remember until a few days before finals that I was even taking it; I had only turned in the first two assignments, so I was definitely failing. It was so strange, because this was supposed to be my favorite class yet I kept ignoring it.

Did I tell you my plan for *temporarily* re-decorating my bro's room? Twilight. Nothing big and fancy, just some pictures of Edward and Jacob to great him when he comes home next week. shhhh... don't tell. ;-)

Ali Patrick and Seth O'Hara are going to be playing at Gathering on the Hill Sunday, July 18th, 6pm at LBC, and you should come :-) Let me know if you need details.

2010-07-06T09:51:00.002-04:00

I don't know where to begin today. I've been feeling so discouraged and frustrated by the world we live in. Maybe it's due to the situations I hear about through my callers, but I think it's a combination of things that have left me feeling such a great sense of oppression. Right now, I can't articulate all of the individual situations that have led me to feel this way, but after one particular call this morning (I don't even remember what it was about), I needed to hear God's take on things to get a better perspective on the evil things that people are capable of. I was encouraged by Psalm 37, especially these verses:

"Do not fret because of evildoers, be not envious toward wrongdoers. For they will wither quickly like the grass and fade like the green herb." (1-2)

"Delight yourself in the LORD; And He will give you the desires of your heart. Commit your way to the LORD, trust also in Him, and He will do it." (4-5)

"Cease from anger and forsake wrath; Do not fret; it leads only to evildoing." (8)

"The wicked plots against the righteous and gnashes at him with his teeth. The Lord laughs at him, for He sees his day is coming. The wicked have drawn the sword and bent their bow to cast down the afflicted and the needy, to slay those who are upright in conduct. Their sword will enter their own heart, and their bows will be broken." (12-15)

"The steps of a man are established by the LORD, and He delights in his way. When he falls he will not be hurled headlong, because the LORD is the One who holds his hand." (23-24)

"I have been young and now I am old, yet I have not seen the righteous forsaken or his descendants begging bread." (25)

"For the LORD loves justice and does not forsake His godly ones; They are preserved forever, but the descendants of the wicked will be cut off." (28)

Funny.

2010-07-02T08:14:00.002-04:00

Ali (my bro, in case you didn't know) always liked to have his privacy when he was living at home, so I rarely ventured into his bedroom. The summer he left for college, he spent almost the entire summer going to camps and other places for vacation, so he was barely home at all before he left. We left his room alone, and now, three years later, I finally realized that he probably will not have the time to clean his room when he visits, and decided to try and organize things a bit for him. Among other things, I found:
Massive amounts of clothing
Toys
Books and half books (including one about "Air Jordan")
Rubber wrestler men
3 swords
3 backpacks (actual backpacking backpacks)
BB gun
Pinewood Derby cars
Purple Graduation gown (probably left in the same spot it had been taken off when someone got home from graduation)
a few pairs of shoes
several*unopened* first aid kits
Dad's wedding band
skeet simulator thingy
arrows
a Frisbee
SEYC folder/Walk51 devo
EMPTY BOX OF HONEY SMACKS
Hot wheels track and cars (we used to play with this ALL the time, it was our favorite!)
A REALLY old school gameboy

And I'm not finished yet, I just started working on it last night. I kept laughing as I found those things because of the memories-like when he was a teenager and would take boxes of cheezits (and cereal, apparently) to his room so that none of us would "steal" them. I'm sure he is much better at sharing as an adult :-p

I'm also pretty sure that when he gets here in a few weeks we'll pull out the old hot wheels track and race. He'll get a sweet, fast, black car, and I will undoubtedly get stuck with the Mystery Machine.

I wonder what else I'm going to find?

*Just keep in mind that he is an adult now, and I'm sure he is much more organized now. This is in no way a reflection of who he is today, just how he was when he was growing up. I hope he won't be upset with me for posting this...

Random.

2010-06-26T14:19:00.004-04:00

This is one of those "when I have things to say, but no one to say them to at the moment, I write a blog" posts.

I am shocked to see how much my handwriting has suffered in the 6 months that I haven't been taking classes. I think I'll have to start journaling again or something to fix that.

I love my job-absolutely love what I do and feel that it is both a privilege and an honor to work at OL. Unfortunately, it drains me of all energy. For example, this afternoon I came in and was looking forward to the things I am going to do this evening when I get off (cleaning, planting a tree, going for a long walk), but an hour into my shift I had spoken with at least 3 women who are strongly considering abortion, and no longer felt up to doing the things I was planning to.

Sometimes when I try to type "toll free helpline" in an email or IM for work, I accidentally type "tool free helpline." It's funny 'cause it's true ;) (don't worry, I correct before hitting send)

Today is a coldplay sort of day. Which is odd for me, because rainy days are usually coldplay days, and right now it is dry and sunny.

I just had my annual performance review (literally, JUST now, in the middle of writing this). It almost made me cry, it was so good. God is using me, apparently, and molding me more to His image. It would feel arrogant to post all that was said, but I will say that it was encouraging and confirmed to me that I am where God wants me, doing what He wants me to do for the time being.

My baby brother will be home in 3 weeks, and will probably be staying for about 3 weeks. I can't wait!! While he's on this side of the country, we'll be going to West Virginia for a week (he hasn't been there in 2 years)-which I am also very excited about. It's such a blessing to be able to take time off to spend with family :-)

I think that is all for now... Thanks for reading.

Patience.

2010-06-23T08:16:00.003-04:00

"A thousand times I've failed, still your mercy remains/And should I stumble again, still I'm caught in your grace"

Oh, how I relate to those words! Only, I feel that it would be more truthful to say "a TRILLION times." I have so much growing to do. SO much. I'm so thankful that He never gives up on me. Thankful that His love is not dependent on what I say, think, do, or feel, but upon His grace alone.

I had a dream last night about failing. I was back in high school, and it still seemed like I could not do anything right. I dreamt that I was in Spanish class, and I kept getting confused... I couldn't grasp the simplest concept-pairing the correct noun and adjective based on gender (Por ejemplo, "the face" en español es "la cara," pero en mi sueño, dije "el cara"). Then, I went to English class, and found out that I got an F on my paper. I went to gym and while playing football, in the last few seconds of our game the QB passed me the ball, and I...threw it back to him*, losing the game for our team. When I went to band practice, I couldn't figure out how to play my instrument. In my dream, I felt like a complete failure...utterly useless. But somehow, by the end of the dream, I was overwhelmed with gratitude...I'm not sure what exactly happened, but in spite of all of my failures, God was using me to accomplish something.

Truth be told, I have thoroughly earned the title "failure." It is only by the Grace of God that any good is found in me, only by His grace can anything good be accomplished. I guess I have kept hoping that one day I will wake up and be the person I want to be, that I'll never need to struggle with sin and imperfection. I want it NOW, but growth is a process...a process that I am not in control of, and when it takes place it is by His grace, not my own efforts to be "better."

I don't know if any of this made sense...um, just in case you feel that you've wasted a few minutes of your life reading my rambling, here is a picture of a pretty flower (that I took with my cell phone camera...technology sure has come a long way) :-)

*I actually did that when I was in school (I have no idea what made me dream about it)...apparently which game we were playing had COMPLETELY slipped my mind. It all happened in very slow motion. I didn't want to have the ball-in case you've never played or watched football, people run at you when you have the ball... so instinctively, when I saw that I was being surrounded, I threw it back... and as I was throwing the ball back to the QB, I saw him shaking his head and yelling "NOOOOOOOOOOOO! ! !" It is among my most embarrassing moments.

New Look!

2010-06-19T12:34:00.003-04:00

My old template was sort of gloomy, so voila! The blog has a new look for summer :-)

You know (or maybe you don't, but now you will) how I was complaining all winter, and could NOT wait for the warm weather? Well...I like warm weather a whole lot...and I certainly DON'T like snow a whole lot...but I DO like to breathe, and unfortunately, this season has made breathing difficult for me. I never had allergies until this year-ever. I had asthma as a child, but for the last 10 years or so it's only been a problem occasionally (sometimes when I get sick, or when the weather changes drastically), but I've had to use my inhaler most days this week.

Breathing is also sort of essential for any type of exercise, so I've had difficulty (that's an understatement, by the way) keeping up with my workout schedule and this has significantly stalled any weight loss progress. I've started taking some allergy medicine, and I'm using my inhaler as needed, so hopefully I'll get back in the groove soon. All this to say, I was wrong to wish away winter. I'm very sorry, and it ~~will probably~~ won't happen again.

I've been doing a lot of research on graduate schools, and I'm still very much leaning toward Liberty University, but I'm still praying and seeking His will in where I should be. I've mentioned it before, but often I think about moving to a place where I don't know anyone at all. For many people that is a scary thing to do, and I know several folks who've talked about how hard it is to meet new people and how difficult it is to be away from friends and family. For me, it has ALWAYS been hard to meet new people, so it would sort of be the same struggle in a new environment. I love my family, but they are scattered across the country, and with today's technology it's easy to keep in touch. As far as friends go...there's always Facebook :-)

There would also be, for me, it seems a new type of freedom-that is, to be who I've grown to be. I'm not sure if many others experience this, but there seems to be a pattern of behavior...hopefully I can explain.When one is around those whom one has always been around, one behaves as one has always behaved. Maybe this idea is still not clear, so a few examples?

Ex1. When I am around family who I've known as long as I can remember, I behave freely, and sometimes in a childlike manner (goofing around, playing games, etc.). This is good, in many ways, and I find a sort of freedom in it.

Ex2. I am a quiet person (less so now than I was when I was younger)-I don't think there is anyone reading this who doesn't know that, but just in case you didn't, now you do-and there are some people who seem to have gotten the impression that I "never talk" (I cannot tell you how many times people have said that to/about me). Of course that isn't true, but these individuals have come to believe it and (it must be some sort of reciprocal determinism type thing) when I am in their presence, I unintentionally confirm that belief. This is one example of how this patterned behavior can be more inhibiting than freeing.

So in moving to a completely new place, there would be opportunities to make first impressions that are different than those I have made, or could possibly make in a setting I've lived in for so long. Don't imagine that I would actually be a different person, but without the constraints of the same old environment, same people, I have known for most of my life, perhaps...I don't know.

If you think of it, please pray with me for wisdom in making these decisions. It is undoubtedly going to be a slow process, and there is much to be done before I make any final decisions.

In other news, I have finished reading Christian's Secret of a Happy Life, and can now strongly recommend it. The concepts Hannah Whitall Smith writes of in this work are simple, yet profound, and life-altering.

I also highly recommend Fyodor Dostoevsky's Crime and Punishment. Also The Brothers Karamazov, while you're at it. I read The Brothers Karamazov some time ago, and really enjoyed it. For some reason, on Tuesday while I was at work I decided to find another book to read in between calls, and remembered that I'd wanted to read more Dostoevsky so I found a place to read Crime and Punishment online. The intriguing story (with many psychological, philosophical, and political themes) quickly drew me in, and by Thursday night I had read all 41 chapters. Seriously, it was THAT good.

Anyone have any suggestions for the next book I should read?

Oh, The Brother's Karamazov, Crime and Punishment, and Christian's Secret of a Happy Life are all available to read online, if you're interested.

Good Times.

2010-06-08T10:31:00.003-04:00

I've spent the past two weekends enjoying some quality time with my family in West Virginia. Memorial day weekend I spent on Greenhill for a reunion-it was so good to see everyone for a happy occassion! This weekend, I went to White Sulphur Springs for my cousin, Tiffany's high school graduation. I spent a lot of time reflecting on how quickly things change; it was quite an emotional weekend for me. I watched the slideshow that my papaw made for their 50th wedding anniversary last year, and looking at all of the old pictures of them (and of the rest of us) resulted in me crying like a baby. There are so many memories that I never want to forget...I have been so blessed by my family! West Virginia truly is a beautiful place, but if I didn't have memories and family there, it would just be another place to me. I know I've posted about it before, but there is something so special about being around my family. I never feel self-conscious or insecure around them, I'm pretty sure I have the most loving and gracious grandparents there ever were, and I never laugh as much as when I am with them. It probably seems wierd to my co-workers that whenever I take a vacation, it is almost always to visit family, but there is nowhere else I'd rather be. There's so much more that I could write, but I'll leave it at that.

Love for the Unloved.

2010-05-20T08:31:00.004-04:00

There is a chronological Bible reading plan that I have really been wanting to stick with, but I tried and failed (stopped at some point in Exodus). Now I'm trying again (story of my LIFE, by the way).

There are 4 things that have really stood out this time around.

1. That man, in his fallen state, is completely and utterly wicked. If left to his own devices, he will make a mess of things and destroy anything of value.

2. That every person (aside from Jesus, of course) who has ever lived has lived imperfectly. Even the most godly have made some pretty enormous mistakes, have lacked faith at times, have become angry with God and fought Him before surrendering to His will.

3. That God is PATIENT, and more gracious than you or I could ever completely understand.

Remember the accounts of Abraham telling the Egyptians (Gen. 13), and later King Abimelech of Gerar (Gen.20), that Sarah was his sister-concealing the fact that she was his wife-so that they would not kill him and take her because she was very beautiful? Abraham's son Isaac did the same thing (Gen. 26), demonstrating a lack of faith in what God had promised. In all 3 situations, God simply revealed the truth of the matter to the men who were in danger of committing adultery, but never a word about it to Abraham or Isaac. Both of their lives, and their wives, were protected-in spite of their lack of faith. I wonder if His silence stung more than a rebuke would have...

4. That God is gentle and kind; He loves and cares for those that are unloved. There are three accounts that, to me, really shed light on this attribute of His.

To paraphrase the first, God had promised Abram a son, and not only that, but that His descendants would be as numerous as the grains of sand and the stars in the sky. Abraham's wife, Sarai, began to get impatient-she had still not conceived and wasn't getting any younger. She decided to give her handmaid, Hagar, to Abram so that she (Sarai) could have children through Hagar. We aren't told whether Hagar had a choice in this, but I doubt that she did. Hagar conceived, tension grew between the two women, and "Sarai treated her harshly." Hagar fled from her, but an angel of the Lord met her and encouraged her to return to the household, and promised to greatly multiply her descendants. She called Him "You are a God who sees."(Gen. 16) Later, after Isaac had been born, Sarah requested that Hagar and Ishmael be sent away (Gen. 21). Abraham was distressed because of this, but God told him to do what Sarah asked, and again promised that He would make a nation of Ishmael. While Hagar and Ishmael wandered in the wilderness, they ran out of water, so she left Ishmael under a bush, and sat far from him-crying "Do not let me see the boy die." Then, God heard the boy crying, and said to her "What is the matter with you, Hagar? Do not fear, for God has heard the voice of the lad where he is. Arise, lift up the lad, and hold him by the hand, for I will make a great nation of him." Then God showed her a well of water. It really touches my heart that we serve a God who sees our pain, a God who hears our cry...Can you imagine the position this woman was in...? Essentially, she become a single mom (though I am certain Abraham sent her with means to provide for their needs), and in ancient times, and with the low status of being a handmaid. Can you imagine how unloved she must have felt? But here is our God, who sees her distress, hears her cry, and promises to bless her and her son.

And then there was Leah. The sister of Rachel, whom Abraham's grandson, Jacob, had chosen to be his bride. Jacob had worked out a deal with Laban (Leah and Rachel's father); to pay Rachel's bride price, he would work for Laban for 7 years. At the end of the 7 years, though, Laban gave him Leah instead, because she was the elder sister. But Jacob did not love Leah, and was very angry that Laban had done this. He agreed to work 7 more years for Laban in exchange for Rachel. My heart just breaks for Leah. And apparently, God's did too. "Now the LORD saw that Leah was unloved, and He opened her womb, but Rachel was barren." She continues to bear children (a very great blessing in those times), and she hopes that after each child her husband will love her. Can you imagine that? Unfortunately for Leah, Jacob loved Rachel more even to the end. In fact, only Rachel's death is mentioned; not Leah's, or the handmaids who also bore children to him. But here is how kind and faithful our God is: Leah is the mother of Judah, who was the great...(I don't know how many greats)...great grandfather of our Savior. God chose her be part of the line that fulfills the Abrahamic covenant. Incredible.

Both of these were unloved women, who God loved and encouraged in the midst of heartbreak. I'm just writing this out to help myself remember these things, but I hope that you who may be reading this are as encouraged and comforted as I was!